Off-Topic: This Really Is Not A Woman That Needs To Be Infantilized

So last night I'm doing the laundry, clearing some copywriting for the never-ending day job, and looking for something on my Netflix instant queue to keep me awake in the background while I'm doing all of these wildly entertaining things. So I throw on the "GI Joe" movie. I'm not proud of this; I'm just here for Sienna Miller in leather. I mean, look at her. This is worth an instant spin.

Now, for those of you who aren't wildly down with your '80s toy-based story-telling, Miller's character is a black as pitch villainess. She stabs, she kills, she uses her looks to get what she wants -- she's basically my first wife. (I keed, I keed! The former Mrs. Shooter was a blonde.) And -- spoiler alert! -- she's just misunderstood. Brainwashed, and all that. In the final 20 minutes of the movie, she turns for the hero, goes after the Real Villains, and stoically accepts her prison sentence and well-fitting striped non-catsuit.

And, um... does anyone else have a problem with this?

1) If Miller is not the hottest woman in the movie -- sorry, Rachel Hunter and those who prefer redheads, but I call them as I see them, and Miller has more lines and billing, so that's Hollywood talking and not me -- does her character get redeemed? I'm thinking... no. Give her a scarred eye and the old Veronica Lake hair covering half of her face, and I guarantee you she stays naughty. I call bullsquat, and the usual prejudice / predilection of Prettiest Girl Can't Really Be Bad. Pshaw.

2) How often does this happen in movies when the bad person is male? Yes, that's right, never. Which means one of two things:

a) Women, at least in the view of people who make craptastic entertainment like this, can't *really* know what they want. After all, they are, you know, women. Little better than children, really.

b) Bad girls just haven't met the Right Man yet, and as soon as they do, they'll forget all about their evil ways, especially once they are touched by the healing power of the hero's penis. All hail the hero's penis!

Which is to say, welcome back, once again, to another unseemly moment of utter misogyny. And pretty girls are not allowed to assume the position, wear handcuffs and snarl as the hero drops a humiliating quip. But perhaps I've said too much. Moving on...