Two More Days and Nights of Cavs-Spurs Hype

Ed. Note -- Seriously, it's Tuesday. The Pistons were put to bed three days ago. We needed five days between Game Six and Game One, just so the 47 people outside of Texas and Ohio who are following this could read more words about how the Spurs are boring and LeBron is LeMazing?

Even if Cleveland had spit the bit in Game Six, it would have been three days before the next series started -- more than enough time for Mike James to prepare his team. (Yes, we know -- Mike needs no more than five minutes to imbue his special brand of coaching magic, most of which probably entails making sure they recognize the other jersey is Dfferent from theirs and Bad.)

Whatever happened to giving some edge to the team that finishes its business early? Besides, doesn't the NBA know that the Spurs are so old, many of them may lose the ability to control their bladders during games before this playoff season is over?

Well, we only know one way to answer such an indignity. Suck on my list!

Top 10 Things That Have Taken Less Time Than The NBA Playoffs

10) The building of Rome (allegedly)

9) Major combat operations in Iraq, according to Our President

8) The Noah's Arc Flood

7) The assassination of John F Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald, and the findings of the Warren Commission that a 16-year-old Oliver Stone killed both men

7) The little-known 53 Days War

6) The competitive portion of the 2007 Yankees season (crossing fingers)

5) The NFL post-season, including the Super Bowl Bye Week *and* the freaking Pro Bowl

4) MLB's post-season, though you may be forgiven for thinking otherwise, given how an hour spent with Tim McCarver can seem like a week spent with any other human on the planet

3) The cumulative amount of time that Tim Duncan has spent looking amazed that a foul has been called on him (2006-2007 season only)

2) Cub Fan turning on Sweet Lou

1) My last 76,320 sexual encounters (you can, of course, encounter yourself)