Why Running Up The Score Isn't Just Wrong, It's Stupid

In today's Bad Tooth moment for me, I read Simmons' latest mouth job for the Patriots. It turns out that running up the score and being irredeemable douchebags is OK, because people said mean thing about the Patriots about CheaterGate FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS.

I mean, really, people, what were we thinking? The marquee team of the league threatens the entire viability of the NFL by compromising its integrity in a particularly blatant way, right in front of the league's commissioner, and we went *on and on* about it. WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

Ow. Impacted. Owwww. Yeah, I think it's cracked. Let me touch it with my tongue some more. OWWWW.... Hmm. Maybe some mouthwash would help. OWWWWWWWWW....

Anyway, after the self-loathing was over, it got me to thinking -- what, beyond the sense of reeking obnoxiousness, is really all that bad about running up the score? The opposing team are professionals, not little kids; it's not like we expect them to cry over it. The fans who are rooting against the Patriots aren't going to hate them any more or less from an extra score or six. You're either all in or all out with this team - they are the football equivalent of a Karl Rove campaign, only without the subtlety, and with ten times the competence.

And yet, here is the reason why it's a bad idea... I'm convinced, on some level, that it will eventually get the refs to turn on you. And it's also going to get the team that's taking it without lube to forget the Unwritten Rules of Football.

While it hasn't manifested itself enough to turn into action yet (or, for that matter, a workable labor union), the NFL is a fraternity. On any given play, at any given moment, your career can end. And it can happen at more or less the mercy of individual players on the opposing team.

A dive at the back of the knee. A roll into the pile, with a grab and yank that isn't about getting the ball. A flat out late hit on a high throw, or a quarterback, punter or kicker taking a shot with malice when they are vulnerable. If you want someone hurt badly enough in an NFL game, and have a small but actionable group that's willing to go beyond the pale to Make A Statement... well, we know it could happen, so at some point, maybe it will happen. We're talking about some of the biggest, fastest and most powerful athletes on the planet. And most of them are pretty good at violence.

It's still not terribly likely; if nothing else, no one wants to pay the fine, face the suspension, or deal with the resulting public fallout and possible revenge ploy from an unhinged Patriots fan. But you have to think that eventually, someone is going to Cross The Line.... and that line gets easier to cross when the team that's giving you the beatdown are being complete douchebags about it.

And that, by the way is why

1) You don't crown the title of Best Team Ever before Halloween, and

2) You don't run up the score, week in and week out, on large and violent men who have access to your extremities.

So... am I rooting for this blood lust?

When John Lennon sang the Beatles' song "Revolution," the lyric is

But when you talk about Destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out...

and then Lennon would say

in

Fairly quietly, so that most of the time, it was not noticed.

Eventually, an interviewer asked him about it, and Lennon said something to the effect that when violence and destruction went down, he hoped he'd have the strength and decency to keep out of it... but, well, he just wasn't sure. Maybe he gets caught up in it, he just didn't know.

And yes, that's increasingly where you are getting, if you are a football fan that is ambivalent or worse about the Pats. When the fall occurs, and it always does, there will be many enjoying the ride.

P.S. For another side on this, check out what the boys at My Brain Says Rage have to say. (They do use naughtier language than us, if such things offend your virgin eyes.)