Leaving us all with the what-if theoretical exercise of who he would have lost the job to -- Garcia, Simms, or Gradkowski. (And if there was a way to bet the over on number of Buc QBs to take a snap in 2007, we'd take the over. Does Gruden still have Brad Johnson's phone number?)
2) Gosh, a lot of NFL guys got paid this week.
And if you're one of those people that get all bent / excited by this kind of thing, you need more of a life, really. Beyond the idea that every league should actually have an off-season, there's this... NFL guys get hurt like crazy. Last year, the Browns thought they had their offensive line all cleaned up by signing LeCharles Bentley... and he's never played a down for them, following a knee injury.
So you'll have to forgive FTT for not getting all bent out of shape by these. We've watched the Redskins win March every year for the Dan Snyder era. They're real good at it.
3) Daisuke Matsuzaka's gyroball devastates college players.
We remember last year, when this was named Josh Beckett. And, um, WTF are they thinking with Joel Piniero as the big RP signing? They'll be hoping Keith Foulke can come out of retirement by June.
4) Class-action lawsuit filed against Boris Diaw by his fantasy league owners.
Well, no, not really. But if that astronaut diaper chick wants to branch out, we'll chip in for her gas.
5) ESPN televises Arena League Football.
On the one hand, it's a pointless train wreck between basketball and football, where 50 points is the mark of a strong defense, and two players in the history of the exercise have managed to actually make it into the league.
On the other, there are literally dozens of insufferable NFL announcers that don't cover it, and ESPN hasn't decided to destroy it yet with crossover entertainment inanity. Hmm...
6) Bud Selig wants you to suck his Dish.
We had the Dish before our last move, and might get it again some day: we're no fan of the cable expereience, and it's always nice to encourage some actual competition. But MLB's "cut 'em off at the sac" policy of moving from a cable package to the dish-only is just one more reason why Bud Selig deserves every moment of the lifetime of torment that waits him in the next place. (That place being a methadone clinic in Hoboken. Word gets around in FTT's elite circles.)
7) March Madness.
Is our school in it? Cool. How about some from our local area? OK, we'll root for them, too. Is the tourney wide open? Oh, like never before! Can't you just feel the excitement?
Will FTT join your pool, or give you insightful analysis that helps you win? No and no. As Mean Old Grandpa Frank would say, know your limits. Punk.