FTT Explains NASCAR To Our Seven Year Old Daughter

Ed Note: This fulfills our annual Sports Blogger requirement to say something about NASCAR. This gets harder every year...

Every weekend, a bunch of white guys get together to drive really fast.

They don't really go anywhere.

When they have to pee, they don't stop to go to the bathroom.

Instead, they pee on themselves.

When they run low on gas or wear out their tires, they fill up and change them really quickly.

Eventually, someone messes up and nearly kills himself, and others.

It's kind of like fireworks.

Only with more injuries, and sometimes, deaths.

The people watching are also white.

They drink grown up drink and yell.

No girls do this.

Probably because girls don't generally want to pee their pants.

No, we're not going.

Now go to bed!