Mad as hell? Really? The guy who regularly starts fights with his fellow cast members and hurls homophobic slurs is angry that he lost his job? Who'd have guessed?
Not to worry, Isiah. The Five Tool Ninja is here to help you get over your anger, and to get your career back on track.
Picture this: Coming to the CW this fall! Boyz On The Side, starring John Amaechi, Tim Hardaway, and Isiah Washington as old college buddies looking for a place to live. When they find that all available housing in town is beyond their means, they come up with a wacky plan to move into special subsidized housing for gay men with AIDS! A foolproof plan, as long as they can make everyone believe that they're gay (when, of course -- *of course!* -- they aren't *really* gay. *AT ALL!*).
Supporting characters include: The aging landlord who has an obvious crush on Washington. "Bruce", the playa who lives next door, who is in on the ruse. And Washington's conservative Republican parents who need to be kept in the dark about his new housing arrangement, lest he lose their financial support. (We're currently in negotiations with Alan Keyes for the role of Isiah's dad.)
Then there are the smoking hot girlfriends. They seem willing to play along at first, but how long will their patience last?
Of course, it's not a proper sitcom unless the lead characters have their own catch phrases:Amaechi: "Take it to the hole!"
Hardaway: "I hate (straight/gay/tall/smart/etc.) people."
Washington, spoken with all of the mock sincerity of a celebrity public apology: "I'm truly sorry if my words or actions have offended you."
And finally - and this is essential - we need a Rufus Wainwright-penned 30-second long theme song explaining the premise of the show.
The only remaining question is whether Boyz On The Side should lead in to Gilmore Girls on Tuesday nights, or WWE Friday Night SmackDown.
Let's make this happen, boys. I'm here to help.