Top 10 Yankee Hater Consolations For Clemens' First Win

10) Despite the five game winning streak, they are only two games out of last in their division.

9) It was the Pirates, at home. That's like beating Temple in football.

8) Tony Armas hit A-Rod with a pitch.

7) Any player who is serenaded by Elton John music can only come to grief.

6) This brief glimmer of hope that they are giving their fans will only make their later defeat more crushing, and their tears more sweet. (Looking for wood to knock...)

5) Clemens in the rotation retards the progress of future Yankee mainstays like Kei Igawa.

4) At least now ESPN can go off 24 Hour Clemens In The Minors Watch.

3) They are still ten games out of first, and 5.5 games out of the wild card, with three teams to pass.

2) With the injuries to Giambi and Mientkiewicz, they're playing Josh Phelps and Miguel Cairo at first base. Seriously.

1) You will probably live long enough to see George Steinbrenner die.

So cheer up, everybody!