Thursday, June 24, 2010

Top 10 reasons to hate Ghana

Next up for the US World Cup team in their quest to ruin the dreams of African nations: Ghana. Here are your top 10 reasons to hate on a country that roughly 1 out of 100 Americans can find on a map, labelled or unlabeled...

10) When they made first contact with Portugese traders in the 15th century, they taught them how to flop for calls

9) They are the world's second largest producer of cocoa, but never serve it hot or with marshmallows

8) It took them until 1957 to achieve independence from the British, which means that they are 180 years dumber than Americans

7) There are just under 24 million Ghanaians, all of whom drive cabs in Manhattan

6) Before colonial Europeans messed with them, they were better known as The Empire of Ashanti, which is just an infinitely cooler name than freaking Ghana

5) If you want to know the truth, they are really all just Nigerian immigrants

4) As the second-least failed state in Africa, they give an inferiority complex to everyone else

3) While the official language is English, most Ghanaians speak more than one language, which means they are totally doing that talk behind your back in front of you thing

2) The team's nickname is The Black Stars, which would be impossible to see at night and is totally, totally racist

1) As the sole remaining African nation left in the World Cup, they are the last thing standing in the way of a vuvuzela-free tournament

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is the most stupid, racist, messed up thing i've ever read....you need help, a lot of it....you obviously have nothing else to do with your life and that is why you are sitting there writing rubbish....you've failed at everything in life and you believe that this is your one chance to achieve success...well sorry to burst your bubble, but please, this is just another one of your myriad failures....dumbass

DMtShooter said...

So you really, really liked it? And had to post a comment so you could come back later?

I love the Internets.

Anonymous said...

u dumbass racist............first of all u just proved to the whole world that americans are ignorant!!! dammnnn!!!!!
2nd of all.....karma's a bitch and u r gonna bite ur words one day!!!
buffoon!!!

DMtShooter said...

I wasn't convinced of the merits of your argument until you went to the multiple exclamation points. That's what sold it for me.

Note, Dear Regular Readers, how a sarcasm list against Ghana is racist, but a sarcasm list against Algeria, Italy or France is just fine...

Anonymous said...

who has said a sarcasm list against any of those other countries is fine....what kind of ignorant fool are you?

DMtShooter said...

Just judging by the comments and traffic for the other posts.

And to answer your question, the kind of ignorant fool that has a profitable, well-trafficked comedy blog. Please feel free to continue to contribute to that.

Anonymous said...

DUDE! GET A LIFE!!! AND B4 INDEPENDENCE THE NAME OF GHANA WAS GOLD COAST!!! RACIST!!!!

Anonymous said...

DUDE! Get a life and go study African History before dissing an entire country filled with more morals than America would ever have!

DMtShooter said...

I wasn't convinced until you used all caps, and called me dude. Then, I had to admit the merits of your argument.

Enjoy the rest of your blog.

Anonymous said...

huever this is, u r one big hater....WAIT TILL WE WHIP YOUR ASS TOMORO N I'LL COME BACK HERE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO!

Ghanagirl said...

I am Ghanaian who loves her country to death and i found this hilarious
People , we have to learn to be tolerant and laugh of somethings :)
i personally don't think there's anything racist about this, similarly if i made a list of why we should hate america in light of this world cup it wouldn't be racist
also
tomorrow after Ghana wins the world cup you'll have one more reason to hate us
Reason 11.
in the past 2 world cups they have sent america home early thus thwarting their dreams of dominating the sport like everything else :)

DMtShooter said...

Ah, Ghanagirl, you get it. And I really should have put the 2006 Ghana win on the list.

Anonymous said...

yeah ummmm, Ghana was not called the Ashanti Empire before colonial rule. The Ashanti Empire was just a big part of it but not the whole. Also, Ghana is made up of immigrants from so many other West african states other than Nigeria. Nigeria is just one of them. There are also some common Ghanaian names in Cameroon showing that some people also migrated from there.

Anonymous said...

yeah i am ghanaian and i just read all this. Well I pretty much found most of the stuff QUITE hilarious except for reason #8 which is really an expensive joke. Most are too absurd to be true so we may just laugh them off. And yeah i think the 2006 win should replace reason #8.

Anonymous said...

yeah i am ghanaian and i just read all this. Well I pretty much found most of the stuff QUITE hilarious except for reason #8 which is really an expensive joke. Most are too absurd to be true so we may just laugh them off. And yeah i think the 2006 win should replace reason #8.

Anonymous said...

Not many Americans know Ghana so posting stuff like this gives the country a negative image. For example, the terrorists also do this "Ten Reasons to hate America" and a kid reads it and grows up hating America and decides to hurt its citizens and stuff based on some false info he got from some site. In a way ask yourself, how different are you from the people who spread false info about small countries and mislead the masses?

This is only a football match. The world cup is supposed to promote unity. Next time when it comes to football just keep the jokes to football and do not bring in economic development and colonialism and stuff. Its just a hit below the belt.

Patrick McIntosh said...

This commentary is great! Watch the US beat them tomorrow!

Tracer Bullet said...

Yeah, Shooter. When the U.S. is attacked by Ghanian terrorists, or worse, nobody in New York can get a cab, then you'll be sorry.

Anonymous said...

YEAH AS FOR YOU THIS ASSHOLE!!!!! YOU SEE WE BEAT YOU!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! YOUR BAD!!! IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!
2-1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DMtShooter said...

Congratulations. Now, please go on and destroy those Uruguayan bastards. Man, I really hate the Uruguayans.

Anonymous said...

Even the africans hate Ghana, what's the deal? I think it's Gyan's dance, it's so so ugly.

Anonymous said...

The people that are upset at this list are dumbasses...

Anonymous said...

Dude you are really really stupid get a life homo!

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