Sunday, June 27, 2010

Top 10 World Cup Takeaways

10) Once again, it's been shown that the Germans always defeat the Brits without U.S. interference

9) Diego Maradona is now 4-0 as Argentina's manager, which means we're just three wins and two weeks away from him running naked in the streets, and forever crushing the idea that who coaches the team is important

8) So far, the only thing more predictable than vuvuzelas is that the refs will be terrible

7) Alexei Lalas still sounds on the verge of tears a day after the U.S. loss

6) For the fourth straight World Cup, there were no positive tests for doping, which proves that the sport is un-American

5) Everyone hates the "Jabulani" ball, which is said to be unpredictable, too prone to flight, and totally unfair, seeing how only one side can use it at a time

4) Since many of the games are being played at altitude, the players are still adjusting on how to dive and flop

3) The South American countries are dominating the tournament, surprising, um, no one

2) Nearly 15 million people watched the US lose to Ghana, which sounds impressive until you realize that they are still sucking the wind of the U.S. women's team win over China in 1999

1) Many Americans are calling for the head of U.S. coach Bob Bradley, because our history of dominance of this sport insists that nothing short of a championship is good enough

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