Thursday, June 24, 2010

Top 10 reasons why Phil Jackson is leaning towards retirement

10) Just plain ran out of ring-less fingers

9) In the new economy of the NBA, might have to take a paycut from monumentally overpaid to ludicrously overpaid

8) There's only so much of Adam Morrison that you can look at before you lose the will to work

7) Ron Artest keeps making him say "Bensonhurst"

6) If he doesn't "retire", he can't arrange to coach LeBron James in Chicago, take the Mad Russian's insane money in New Jersey, or go to Boston just to make Celtic Fan's head explode

5) Just trying to get in touch with the new Favrian America, where everyone is supposed to be enthralled by your employment plans

4) Now that he's passed Red Auerbach for titles, finally feels good enough about himself to relax

3) Still bent at the World Wide Lemur for televising his Game Five huddle disparagement of the Celtics' season-long performance in the fourth quarter

2) Knows that the whole thing is coming down in flames as soon as Andrew Bynum's knee explodes

1) Going out on top beats going out any other way

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