Monday, June 14, 2010

Top 10 reasons that FIFA is continuing to allow vuvzelas at the World Cup

The constant buzzing plastic horns at the World Cup have driven many to distraction, but Sepp Blatter, the president of soccer's governing body, has allowed the practice to continue. Why?

10) After everything that South Africa's poor have gone through, doesn't have the heart to deny them anything

9) Knows that if fans actually have to sit still and watch the game, the sport's popularity will plunge through the floorboards

8) Honestly believes that pointless honking through $8 plastic horns is "the music tradition of fans in their own country"

7) Wants to make sure that no casual fans watch the games

6) It's better than listening to them sing

5) As annoying as it may be for television viewers, it's worse for the players... and on some level, that's all kinds of awesome

4) Wants to recreate the ambiance of late era Montreal Expo games

3) Keeps people from noticing all of the low-scoring ties, super floaty ball and goalie miscues

2) All part of a diabolical scheme to make some current MLB, NFL or NBA team up the ante from thundersticks

1) Gives everyone a rooting interest in brawls, tear gas and hooliganism

2 comments:

The Truth said...

So I have a question for real soccer fans. How do you view a 0-0 game? Is it exciting? Do you walk away saying great strategy, great moves during the match, fantastic defense on our part? Kind of like a 1-0 baseball game. OR do you have to wipe the drool off of the couch pillow like I do after falling asleep?

Scott said...

I don't care what you say, I love the vuvuzelas. They just add this cool, surreal touch to the games. I feel like I'm staring into the Monolith and there's a game on!

Re: 0-0 ties. I don't care what the score is, although it is disappointing for any game to end in a tie.