Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Eagles RB Dion Lewis got arrested for pulling a fire alarm at an Albany hotel

10) Abstract act of free speech

9) In his defense, who really thinks that the fire alarms at a Hampton Inn would actually work?

8) Drew the short straw among the team's skill players for embarrassing the team in the off-season

7) Was short on material tor his upcoming appearance at the Boys & Girls Club

6) Wanted to add drama to the upcoming camp battle for the backup RB job

5) Dodging people as they flee a hotel from a fire alarm is great off-season practice for returning kickoffs

4) Meant to not pull the fire alarm, but as Eagles Fan can attest from last year, his hands aren't all that great

3) Just does crazy, crazy things after his second Fuzzy Navel

2) Needed some juice for his blog / Twitter feed / YouTube account of wackity hijinks

1) Is, um, a 22-year-old asshat who thinks that the laws of ordinary society don't really apply to him, which makes him all kinds of unique among NFL players

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not enough of a bad ass to hold the handle of a fire arm so he pulled the handle of a fire alarm.

Tracer Bullet said...

The most disturbing part of this story is that he was staying in a Hampton Inn. C'mon, son! Sure, you're not making Dreamboat money, but that shit is just embarrassing.

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