Top 10 reasons why the Packers' D.J. Williams wrestles cows during the offseason

No, seriously: dude said that he does this. And here's... the rest of the story.

10) He's from Arkansas, where this is considered foreplay

9) Most cows do not have lawyers

8) Takes this whole notion of having a posse literally

7) It's surprisingly good practice for handling the media

6) Wants to become Packer Fan's favorite player ever

5) It sounds a lot more sober than it's other name, cow tipping

4) Really wants some misguided PETA attention

3) Thinks this is the best way to get in Jermichael Finley's concussive head to take away snaps

2) Feels that the cows' relative intellect and spontaneity makes them suitable substitutes for Detroit's collection of repeat offenders

1) The cows seem to like it when he dresses them in spandex, oils them up, and gives them fairly unrealistic back stories