Thursday, June 17, 2010

Celtics - Lakers Game 7: A Grand Finally

You know how some people get down after the end of the Super Bowl? Well, that's kind of how I feel about the end of the NBA playoffs. While I'm going to watch MLB and World Cup games, and probably more preseason football than usual, the simple fact is that those games are going to be on background. Attention will be intermittent at best. I'll fold laundry, and blog, and do the day job work and the side project material (in case you missed it, and well you should, I'm trying my hand at stand up comedy these days). Tonight is, realistically, the last time I'm going to fully immerse myself in a game until mid-September. It feels much more like the end of a year than February. Kind of like a school year, really.

Well, folks, it's Graduation Day. Game Sevens are always a mixed bag; they can be huge, or they can flop. They are highly akin to old school Super Bowls, really. And seeing how the play has been *really* ragged so far -- two of the seven games wiped out by cross-country travel, and a Game One stinker after a week off for both teams, as part of All-Father Stern's continued efforts to sink the Association with the calendar -- and much of the play has been Whistle, Stop, Whistle, Stop... well, I think Winston Churchill said it best. Or Oscar Wilde, or George Bernard Shaw. Google failed me on this one. Seemed apropos.

In the Bad Tooth's podcast today, he hyped the game by calling it the biggest game in the NBA in the last 22 years. And the nation's non-Celtics and non-Lakers fans go for the latest and longest dry heave of the last two weeks, And Lord, There Have Been Many.

So let's get right into it, shall we? Especially since the team that wins the first quarter has won every game.

Andrew Bynum on the first possession, trying to loop spry; multiple shots stay out. They go back to him, and Paul Pierce pokes it away. Rajon Rondo turns it on a drive; good defense from Derek Fisher. Crowd as into it as you might expect. Ron Artest misses, but Pau Gasol taps it to Fisher, who hits the three. Early offense for the Lakers from rebounding. Gasol called for a blocking foul. Rasheed Wallace, a starter now, goes down low and scores mechanically over Gasol. Gasol misses, but Bynum boards, misses. Gasol gets the board, is blocked, but stays with it for the finish. Huge edge for the Lakers early on the boards. Sheed with a bank to quiet the crowd; it's 5-4 Lakers. Gasol misses a clean look from the free throw line, but runs after the board and gets his own miss, collecting a foul and getting to the line. The Boston guards don't look interested in rebounding right now. Gasol misses both free throws, and that's a bit of a shock.

Pierce with an ungainly drive, but he gets it to Garnett for the go-ahead score. Bynum with low position, scores on a hook. Sheed misses a three, and Rondo fouls Kobe Bryant, who is actually playing in this game, on the board. Bryant misses, but the Lakers gets the board, and Kobe is turned again on what looks like Aussie Football underneath. Rondo scores on a bank inside, and it's 8-7 Celtics. Fisher misses badly from the baseline, and the Sheed board leads to a Rondo layup. The Lakers have eight more shots and three less points.

Ray Allen eats Kobe on defense, and the possession ends with an awful shot from the Laker star, off the backboard for a turn. Pierce's long jumper stays out. Gasol screws Garnett into the ground and scores; pretty. KG responds with a forced airball, and Laker Fan knows how to chant. 10-3 edge on boards to the Lakers early. Gasol goes low, and gets blocked for a jump ball. It's 10-9 on first commerce, and I'm pretty sure that no player in this game is going to have foul trouble, short of triple overtime and/or brawls. Which means it will be a rock fight in the 80s, and make every team in the Association think that the aesthetically pleasing Phoenix style of hoop just can't win championships. Hooray! These are the teams and the ball that America wanted to see!

The Lemur is going to show us every old player in the building. The Celtics run off the break, but Rondo misses at the cup; something of a theme. Testy misses a three, and Kobe gets the o-board but misses. Garnett misses, but Bynum takes the board away with Sheed with authority, and gets a whistle on the other end. Fisher makes a runner, and the Lakers re-take the lead. No doubt that Bynum is enjoying Kendrick Perkins' absence. Allen with a three for the re-lead. Allen turns Testy, but loses it back. Pau Gasol clearly goaltended by Garnett; no whistle. Rondo to Garnett for the slam, and the Celtics lead by four. Gasol to Kobe at the cup, and that's pretty. 15-13 Celtics. Big Baby Davis finishes off an Allen pass as the teams play basketball. Bryant draws a foul on Allen, and he'll go to the line after commerce. 17-13 with three minutes left in the first as Mark Jackson finishes his WWE excretion grunt by celebrating Perkins in street clothes, and rhyming. No, seriously. And now, "Grown Ups" ads! How wonderful!

So far in this one, the Lakers look like they want it more -- the rebounding has been fierce -- but the Celtics have shot it better. Bryant makes one, and the Lakers are now just 1 of 4 from the line. Allen misses a three as the Celtics aren't anywhere near the o-boards. Pierce draws Gasol's second foul on one of those blocking flops that are just death to flow. Pierce makes, and the Celtics are suddenly up five. Bryant misses a long one, and Rondo to Davis is finished nicely by the big man. Laker Fan getting nervous, with reason. Fisher misses, and Garnett is called for his second on the resulting break, one of the most obvious screens on Lamar Odom that you will ever see. Jeff van Gundy apologizes for the call on Garnett. No, seriously. Nate Robinson and Wallace back in for Rondo and Garnett.

Odom nearly turned; Jordan Farmar misses. Lakers just missing the ocean right now. Davis to the rack off a Pierce pass, and two makes gives the Celtics their biggest lead, 23-14. The Lemur gets into Perkins cheering too much, and his choice of clothing. No, seriously. Bryant misses on ridiculous defensive pressure, and the scrum winds up in Celtic hands. Allen misses at the end of the quarter, and that's it. Celtics by nine despite the rebounding issues. If the Lakers don't start moving the ball on offense, the road team is going to win this one.

61-18 is the record of teams winning the first quarter. Kobe with a nice drive, clear of Tony Allen, and make. The Cs miss their first three shots of the quarter, and Odom is fouled by Tony Allen on the break as the home crowd starts to get into it. Another free throw miss, this one by Odom. Kobe to the bench, and after a make, it's a six point Celtic lead. A loose ball foul on LA, then a bad Pierce miss and Rondo board. Rondo's foul line jumper stays out. Sasha Vujacic to Farmar for a miss, but Testy fights for the board on Pierce and puts it back in. That's the 11th offensive board for the Lakers in 14 minutes, and it's the only thing keeping them in the game right now... but it's not like either team can be really happy with how they are playing. The Cs are defending well, but not showing a lot of hustle on the boards, and their offense hasn't been that good. The Lakers have missed a ton, both from the field and the line, and Bryant is going to Hero Mode too much. In other words, this will be praised as an outstanding defensive game. Don't Believe The Hype; when it's 23-19 after 14 minutes, that's a rock fight.

Bryant on the bench with a 2-for-8 line. M-V-P! M-V-P! Sheed's three stays out, and they are 1 of 6 as a team out there. Artest's three misses, but Bynum boards. Vujacic's three stays out, and Rondo is fouled to prevent a lay up. Sheed misses, this time inside. He's shooting too much. Kobe to Gasol down low for a patient make, and when he's a point guard, the Lakers win. Artest steals a bad KG pass and makes a layup for the tie; 8-0 run in four minutes. Another Cs turnover, and Garnett and Jack Nicholson talk things over. Really. Testy with a near turn. Kobe with a Globetrotter routine, rainbow that touches the rim, but Testy boards and scores. A Cs miss but the Lakers don't get it, and a Rondo layup for the re-tie as things heat up. Testy's three on good passing stays out. Allen misses an open three. It's one intense rock fight right now. Gasol misses a free throw jumper. Rondo misses, and Farmar is somehow called as Garnett goes over the back. Commerce happens, and not a moment too soon. I think they need to repaint the rims.

Garnett with good patience on Gasol; neither of these men can guard the other. The Celtics retake the lead. More rock throwing from LA, who are now 11 for 41 from the floor. Wow. Allen misses, and this is a no whistle game. Kobe takes it to Garnett in Fullback Mode, and that's KG's third. Wallace back in for him as Kobe misses yet another free throw. The second goes in, and Pierce answers with a mid-range make. Cs are just jump shooters here. Testy misses, but Allen is out of bounds at the other end to stop the break. Testy finally makes a three, and we're tied at 29 again.

Pierce with a miss. Kobe misses another forced shot. Allen tripped by Fisher for his second on the other end, and only Laker Fan sees that as a bad call. Two makes from Allen. Sheed blocks Gasol on the other end; nice play for the Celtic big man. Fisher gets his third on a dicey call, fighting on the floor for a loose ball with Pierce. It's not so much that he didn't foul the Celtic small forward, as that he fouled him three times before the call was made, and it's just not in keeping with how the game has been called to date. More commerce, and if one of these teams makes it to 85 tonight, I'll be surprised.

More celebs! As if Terrell Owens is still a celeb. Two Pierce makes as Jeff van Gundy talks about Jennifer Garner's spawn. No, seriously. Bryant with a good make and patient drive. Sheed with a bank shot in the post, and if he only did that for his whole life, such better ball would have happened. Bryant misses, and Allen hits a three as actual points are scored; Celtics with a quick 7 point lead. Ugliness after an Artest drive as four Celtics are involved with Testy and Pierce. They get the double technicals with the Pierce foul, and honestly, Testy might be the best Laker tonight. He's got 11, all in the second, and cuts the lead to five. Sheed misses on Odom; stagnant offense. Gasol with his 10th board. Testy draws a Ray Allen foul as both he and Sheed jump around, despite the fact that the replay shows them to be comically at fault. Honestly, Celtic Fan, this is why America hates your team, though they also hate the Lakers, too. One Testy make, and the lead is four.

Bynum called for a foul as Pierce does his usual Falling Down Drunk move on the big man pressure. Ah, soccer playing is starting to break out, folks. Pierce with two makes as Josh Powell and Brian Scalabrine -- Brian Scalabrine! -- check in. Sheed out for the Unbearable Whiteness. Two makes for Pierce. Terrible Laker possession ends with Kobe begging for a foul, but the Cs turn it on Davis to Rondo. Honestly, Scalabrine covered Odom like a glove. Then sat down. Jeff van Gundy tells us he's serviceable! Shannon Brown's end of quarter three wouldn't have counted and stays out anyway,and that's the half. The Lakers shoot 26% for the half and it's not like the Celtics are much better. America, I'm sorry if this was your only exposure to basketball. It's usually better than this.

Rondo to Garnett for a make to start the second. Testy bulls to the basket, gets blocked by Pierce, but gets the board and follow. Garnett throws in a wild shot after Bryant fouls him, but the refs correctly wave off continuation. Kobe's first. Allen misses over Fisher. Rondo picks up his second on Bryant, overguarding a pass. Super tight game in all respects. Bryant with a long, terrible three that stays out. Garnett to the rack with a make and the foul, as Gasol and Bryant don't communicate. KG does his Heel Wrestler scream, and that's Bryant's second foul, to go with a 3-for-15 shooting line. Ug Lee! He forces and misses, the Lakers board to get a Testy miss. Rondo with a driving make, and that's the first double-digit lead of the game, with the Celtics up 11. It's getting harder and harder to see how the Lakers get enough offense to win this game...

The Lemur brings up John Starks as Kobe misses a relatively clean look. Ut oh! Garnett misses on Bynum. Testy gets an offensive foul as Pierce falls; that's Testy's second. Mark Jackson going into full Celtic Knob Slob Mode. Pierce misses, but Rondo boards and makes, and the lead is 13. 7-0 Celtics run. Kobe in Fullback Mode gets Sheed's third, and Pierce is clutching his shoulder and sitting for Tony Allen. Call for the Magic Wheelchair! Bryant makes just one, and he's in Nightmare Land now. Fisher steals an Allen pass, and the Lakers feed Kobe, who nearly turns it and looks tentative. The goat horns are growing! See, I knew there was a silver lining to watching these games...

Bryant with a make, and the crowd exists again. Rondo misses, nearly steals the board from Bryant, but loses it. Pierce back after some Magic Healing. Gasol spins on Sheed, nice make, and the Lakers look like a basketball team again. Garnett on Gasol is a make for the Celtics, yet again. Fisher gets the roll on a catch and shoot. Rondo misses, Testy can't finish the break, but Odom scoops up the garbage, and Doc Rivers calls time. Six point Celtic lead, and we've got a game again. It's so exciting, Mark Jackson talks like a constipated bear. That's your sign of quality basketball!

Even more celebrities! Woo!

Allen misses, but Sheed gets the long board. Testy steals, but Pierce gets it back for an atrocious Sheed three and miss. Kobe blocked, and Pierce hits a three; big, big shot. van Gundy buries Odom for not getting back. Bryant misses on Allen, no call, and he's begging for them with his body language. Testy eats Pierce on defense, and Bryant gets his 10th board. Odom gets to the rim for a nice make. Seven point game. Sheed is a black hole on Odom, but at least he's making them in the block. Bryant makes after a no-call flop/charge; Odom wanted no part of the three. Gasol finally stops Garnett in iso with a block, then gets a call down low on Sheed. Davis in for the Cs. Fisher to the locker room; Shannon Brown in, and the replay shows Fisher might be seriously crotched. Two makes from Gasol cuts it to five. Pierce misses a crazy ugly shot, and Bryant is turned by Allen. Brown strips Rondo in the open court, but the foul is called almost before it happens. Rondo shrugs off the 4 for 17 free throw mark and makes one, but Davis gets the board... and Testy just owns it away from him. That's a strong psycho right there, but Testy gives and Testy takes, with a turnover on the end line. van Gundy finally admits that this is a badly played game. And it only took seven games to notice!

Allen can't get anything to fall; 1 for 9 after the latest lid job. Davis gets a foul and you will be shocked to learn that he does not agree. The Lakers play volleyball, with Odom finishing it. Fisher returning, the lead is four. Davis misses, and Gasol boards. Artest's three stays out, and Scalabrine comes in for Garnett. I'm sorry, HDTV was not meant for Brian Scalabrine. The Cs hold for the final, and it winds up being Scal on a drive that he doesn't get off in time. To say that he looks like a fat kid at a CYO game is to demean fat kids at CYO games. Tony Allen deflects a pass to prevent a heave. Ray Allen in for Scalabrine, because Rivers can only take so much of that, and Rondo's three quarter court heave hurts the backboard just a little bit less than most of the shots in this one. Celtics 57, Lakers 53, and I think even the non-blogosphere is going to notice the stink on this one. Please, Lord, let this end in regulation.

Kobe is 5 for 20. Ray Allen is 1 for 9. Phil Jackson buries Kobe in the required interview. And more telling... just one assist. Jackson, of course, fellates Kobe anyway. You have to love the Lemur.

Gasol with good patience, and he gets a Davis foul for the old-school three... but misses yet another free throw. 9 for 17 from the line now; wow. Terrible Celtic possession ends in a turn, and Testy is having himself a game. More Laker rock throwing and volleyballing, and Davis gets his third. Testy leaves for Bryant, and he actually asked for the rest. Testy's been the best Laker tonight, and it hasn't been close. Bryant misses again, but that one was actually a decent shot. Vujacic fouls Davis on entry. Garnett and Artest both back in, and the only thing that will save the starters are the relentless timeouts of late game NBA land.

Pierce can't draw a foul or a make, but gets a back tap for another possession. Farmar turns Rondo, and Testy runs a no-pass break that Garnett blocks; should have been a foul. Odom's three stays out, and Bryant gets a blocking foul on the break; pretty ugly play from both him and Allen. Garnett misses at the end of the clock, and if possible, the offenses have gotten worse in this quarter. Farmar turned by Davis. Garnett on a good entry pass and make, and the Celtic lead is four. Rondo's 8th assist as Rivers is annoyed at the refs. Nine minutes left in this game, and hopefully, this season.

Bryant draws a cheap one on Ray Allen, and that's three free throws of caginess. Robinson in for Rondo; big decision, especially with a lead to protect. Bryant makes all three free throws, and the lead is one. Allen makes a tough floater, and both goats shed the horn. Artest misses, and Davis with a very good board. Robinson's high layup stays out, and the Lakers get the team board. Gasol to Testy, nice interior pass, and he gets the make and foul on Pierce. Just a huge play by Testy, and he even makes the free throw. Tie game, and so much for the Trevor Ariza comparison.

Allen gets to the line on Bryant's third foul, and the refs are starting to tighten up, as usual, in the late going. Allen finally misses a free throw, and that's an upset. The second goes in, and the Celtics lead, 62-61. Gasol is somehow not fouled, as Garnett makes a great play. Laker team board. Odom misses a three, and Gasol is fouled over the back by Sheed on the follow dunk attempt. Even more free throw miss by Gasol, and if they lose this game, these will be damning. Allen gets to the line on a Garnett pass, and he won't miss any more of these. Three point Celtic game. Fisher hits a monstrous three to tie it, and that was just a huge shot. Rondo did everything he could to get a hand in his face, and the old man just drained it anyway. Rondo misses, and Bryant gets the board and a hard foul. Celtics are in the penalty now, and after 6.75 games of ugly, we're finally getting compelling ball. I'm almost sorry to see it.

Bryant gives the Lakers their first lead in forever, after commerce, and his best moments tonight have been at the line and on the boards. Allen with a clean look and miss as Fisher was screened. Bryant makes on a pull up to push the lead to four, and give the devil his due... that was big time. Tellingly, Fisher screams at the club on the bench, "We still need stops!" Yes, yes, you do.

Five minutes left. Cs tentative, and Pierce misses a three. Kobe boards. Put away time? Gasol draws a late whistle on Garnett, his fourth, and Rivers is aghast. Gasol was 2 of 7 at the line tonight... but he's 4 of 9 now, and the Cs are in real trouble. Six point game. 9-0 run. Long possesion, Allen has a good drive, but can't finish, and that's Bryant's 15th board. Kobe misses short. Lakers get back to stop the Rondo drive, but Pierce makes, and the lead is four and the run is broken. Big shot by Pierce. Laker offense stagnating with Kobe now, but he gets to the rim and draws a Pierce foul on a dunk attempt. Bryant misses the first, and I wonder about his legs, honestly. The second goes in; 5 point game.

High low pass leads to a Garnett slam; three point lead with three to play. Kobe feeds Gasol, and Garnett takes his fifth to prevent the layup. That could be telling. Gasol now feeling it from the line, and the Lakers have outshot the Celtics by over a dozen free throws in the fourth. That sound you heard was Boston Fan screaming. Sheed misses, and the Lakers get the board. Pierce with a blocking foul, and that's his fourth; Gasol back to the line. Just rugby right there, as the Celtics tried to force the eight second call. Gasol with yet another free throw miss, and this game would be over if the Lakers had simply made free throws. The second goes in, and the lead is six. Testy with a foul on Pierce, and that's a terrible play by him, though Pierce sold it well with the elbow. Two makes cuts the lead to four with 2:14 left, and please, Lord, no overtime. We'll be here all night.

Odom's three stays out. Pierce is blocked as the on-court mics pick up a woman screaming in fear -- Vujacic? -- and the team board stays away from Wallace. One hundred seconds left. Gasol somehow squeezes one off, coming down, into a forest of trees... and he makes it through six Celtic arms for a huge basket. The Shooter Wife is even watching this, for the first time ever, and is clearly enthralled by Gasol, who is in Full Muppet Mode on the slo-mo celebration... and the replay shows that Gasol didn't get it off. Major Boston Fan Puling Alert!

Sheed finally hits a three, and that's insanely helpful for the Cs. Artest answers, and honestly, who would have seen both team's problem children doing that in the clutch? Allen hits another three from the corner, and good gravy. Wow, wow, wow. Kobe misses a three, Gasol gets the board, and Kobe succumbs to Hero Mode again with a drive and shot, when the Lakers should have ran clock. Unreal. Sheed leaves with his sixth foul, and how he didn't get a technical foul today, I don't know. Bryant has been the only good Laker from the line tonight, and he makes both with 25.7 seconds left. 81-76 Lakers.

Allen misses, but Rondo boards and makes a three, which is just insanely huge. Rondo nearly forces a turnover on the inbounds, and we've got a game to the buzzer. Say this for the Celtics; they have not quit despite this fourth quarter being just filled with dagger moments. Odom inbounds on no pressure, and he gets it to Vujacic, who will have to make the throws. He's an 88% career shooter, and he's in just to make free throws. Can he make them? Yes to the first, all cotton. Yes to the second, all cotton. I think I just heard Bill Simmons' heart explode. (Checks Twitter feed. Yup!)

Rondo misses from the corner, Gasol gets the board, and the Lakers are able to throw it downcourt and avoid the foul. The series is over, and the Lakers are the 2010 NBA Champions. Much more later, of course, but this is already going to be the longest diary ever, so let's get it up and move on. At least it ended with a tight and compelling, if not actually very good, game...

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