Top 10 "Sports" Events We're Not Looking Forward To

1) The All-Star Game -- despite the fact that, this time, it counts

2) Pre-season football -- Which player will win the battle for a back-up job that will have no impact on how their team does this year? Tune in and find out!

3) "Hilarious" NBA Draft diaries -- Gosh, tall young men with sudden amounts of money dress funny!

4) Just about anything ESPN produces to fill the summer dead zone

5) The inevitable Web troll / conspiracy theory backlash that Chris Benoit was framed

6) The Home Run Derby -- will Chris Berman say back-back-back-back-back? YES!

7) Pete Rose's next moment in the spotlight -- over/under countdown is down to 18 days

8) Watching Shaq get sanctimonious about people with weight problems

9) The latest developments in the Pac-Man Jones saga (in other news, Maurice Clarett wants his title of Most Overrated Waste of Time back)

10) Wimbledon. Will the guy that always wins win by hitting serves with scientifically cranked rackets that humans aren't physically capable of returning? Wow! What thrills!