Live Blogging The NBA Draft On NJ Transit

Tonight, we bring you live draft coverage that no other site can touch... because it's being done on a train. It's crowded, filled with smelly people, and soul deadening -- in other words, just like the ESPN studios when STEPHEN A. is not talking. Let's get right to it!

7:39 -- Wow! Portland took Oden. What a shock!

7:40 -- I'm pretty sure Matt Millen is going to take a wideout here.

7:41 -- Buffering... buffering...

7:42 -- The Sonics are waiting until the last second to draft Durant. Why? Are they too busy packing up the trucks for Vegas?

7:43 -- DURANT! Wow! What were the odds? I can really see why everyone goes apeshit with anticipation of this event. WHAT DRAMA!

7:44 -- Hawks on the clock. Horford or Conley? Either might work out, so I'm counting on them doing something else. We all know they're allergic to point guards.

7:45 -- Conductor asks me for my ticket. I show him the blog instead. He gives *me* money instead. FTT RULES!

7:46 -- Two minutes on the clock. Somehow, I was hoping that teams would be more ready to move when the obvious picks happen. Then again, this is the Hawks -- they're probably still eating paste at this moment.

7:47 -- Hawks will take all of the time and get... and the app stalls, or the Hawks crapped themselves. If this was my fantasy league, we'd be pelting them all with food around now.

7:48 -- Al Horford! The consensus #3. Plus, he doesn't play point. Now, it's the T-Wolves, who last had a #1 in 1988, before the franchise existed, due to the Joe Smith debacle. In other news, we've just made Rahway, and the woman next to me is deep into the Soduku and Diet Coke. I feel like you need to know these things.

7:50 -- ESPN rumor is that the Celts are getting Ray Allen for the 5th pick and a smorgasborg of garbage. He Got Game! And lots of miles on his legs. On the other hand, Allen is the first NBA quasi-superstar who hasn't decided that Boston is Siberia West. The Sonics also get Delonte West, Wally Sczerbiak, and 20 moving boxes. Southward Ho!

7:53 -- The Grizz takes Mike Conley, giving them their first decent PG since Mike Bibby. He'll combine with Pau Gasol to give that team the dynamic inside-out game they had with Bibs and Shareef Abdur-Rahim. In other words, Memphis is screwed.

7:57 -- We make Metropark. The Celtics make their own sauce when you add water. Neither is a good development.

7:58 -- My instant analysis of the Allen trade -- he's actually really good. In the East, he matters. He'll make Pierce care. But he can't overcome Doc Rivers, the unbearable lightness of Kendrick Perkins, and the fact that no one, with the possible exception of Rajon Rondo, can play defense. The Celts win 40, get a low seed, get rolled. That's the high side of things. In other words, they're Knicks North!

7:58 -- Jeff Green, the SF from Georgetown, goes in the promised deal to Seattle. At least the Celts got to avoid Yi here, which in Mandarin is pronounced Skittish-Villi, if you get my meaning...

8:03 -- The Bucks take forever to pick... sorry, nodded off there. Edison looks a lot like Rahway, really.

8:04 -- Yi! Yi! Yi! He's the new Jack Sikma. He's the new Paul Mokeski. He's on the phone, telling the Chinese government to annex Canada. He's going to change your world and rock your emotions and make Andrew Bogut look hip. What a pick! Ruben Patterson just beat his nanny.

8:05 -- When you pick Yi Jianlian, do you realize you've boned it right away, or do you realize this after an hour? (Wait, don't go. I've got lots of Yellow Peril material to get through here...)

(More later -- the bathroom's opened up on the train. Wish me luck!)