Kobe Bryant's Next 10 Moves To Force A Trade From Los Angeles

10) Expresses support for Tim Hardaway

9) Slaps Jack Nicholson around

8) Eats veal

7) Confesses that he is Tupac's real killer

6) Steals Jeannie Buss away from Coach Philip

5) Wears memorial shirt for Odom's kid that has a large X drawn over the face

4) Makes video that throws his team and organization under the bus -- whoops, that already happened

3) Videotaped not separating his recyclables from his garbage

2) Starts a smoking habit -- in game, clove, rolling his own

1) Sodomy -- 24/7/365