Sunday, June 12, 2011

50 Mavs Heat Game Six Takeaways

The end of the best NBA playoffs in recent memory, despite a dearth of Game Seven dramas. Congrats to the Old Men That Could, your 2010-11 NBA champions, the Dallas Mavericks...

50) Mario Chalmers responded to a starting role by missing everything

49) Offensive rebounding appears to be something the Heat only do at home

48) The longer the playoffs go, the more it becomes obvious that it's JJ Barea's world

47) LeBron James started 4-for-4, which proves that he's better than Michael Jordan after all

46) According to Mark Jackson, a five point lead after five minutes is the perfect start for the Heat, mostly because he does not know the meaning of the word perfect

45) Brian Cardinal is now officially taking Peja Stojakovic's minutes are regrettable weak link

44) Jason Terry hit his first two shots to make sure that, just like every other game in this series, there would not be a double-digit lead for Miami

43) ABC/ESPN covered CoughGate for a full minute before saying "Who Cares", then cared about for over a half dozen possessions more, including a Mavs run that gave them the lead

42) James missed his next three shots, proving he's gutless and a loser

41) Eddie House came in before Mike Bibby, as Erik Spoelstra finally got the memo that Bibby is beyond horrible

40) Once again, the Dallas zone gave Miami problems, since the Heat clearly don't have coaching enough to adjust to such things

39) DeShawn Stevenson came in for a steal and a three, capping a 17-point turnaround, because this series is just that run-tastic

38) Mike Breen announced Brendan Haywood as Spencer, which is fairly flattering to Spencer, in that he might move better laterally

37) Ian Mahinmi finally made some energy plays, proving that the series has gone on long enough

36) Stevenson hit back to back threes to give the Mavs a 12-point lead to a surprising amount of cheers, proving that Heat Fan is ready to root for any winning team, really

35) Barea tried to sell a flop from a shove from behind, which was too innovative for the refs to call

34) Dirk Nowitzki was 1 for 12 in the first half with 2 fouls, proving that his mighty Teutonic heart is not capable of being mocked for sniffles

33) Dwyane Wade blocked a 7-footer, leading to a House three, a Mavs timeout, and a shoving match that ABC/ESPN needed to go to commercial rather than show

32) The resulting fracas led to several technical fouls, no ejections, five minutes of No Ball and if the series continues, days of absolutely unbearable talk, and one Dallas point

31) The big Heat run came with James on the bench, proving that he's the whole problem

30) Tyson Chandler was upset that he was called for his third foul for an elbow to the kidney to Wade while the man was in the air, at the rim, as if anyone would be watching him then

29) Both teams went small, just to make sure that drives to the rim where even more successful

28) Terry managed to avoid drooling too much at House attempting to guard him

27) James missed both of his free throws on his first trip to the line, which was more than telling

26) Isolating James now just means that you take more time off the clock before some other Heat player gets the ball

25) The idea that the Mavs would lead at the end of the first half with Dirk shooting 8.3% is beyond amazing

24) Dallas kept defending James as if he actually wanted to shoot

23) Miami kept missing free throws, not that the broadcasting crew noticed

22) Dallas got away with Barea on James, mostly because James had absolutely no interest in shooting

21) Chris Bosh was much, much better than LeBron James, proving that he's better than Michael... aw, you know the rest

20) When Brian Cardinal flagrantly fouls Chris Bosh and doesn't get called for it, all of White America smiles

19) Miami's vaunted defense obviously doesn't extend to the three point line

18) Cardinal finally got a charge call, leading to a Wade technical as well

17) James' first shot in the third quarter came after 10+ minutes of court time, so I guess he's saving up his energy for.. what, again, really?

16) The announcing team finally noticed the missed free throws for Miami when it got to ten

15) Jason Kidd hit an excuse-me three to give the Mavs an eight point lead at the end of the clock

14) Mahinmi hitting a quarter-ending shot to give the Mavs a nine-point lead after three is one of those Maybe It's Their Year moments

13) One for two was a better trip than many for the Heat from the line in this game

12) Wade finishing with an and-one at the rim against Dirk was game-changing... and was capped, of course, by a missed free throw

11) You really don't want to know James' plus/minus in this game

10) Barea shook House for a back-breaking three, which House could not answer on the other end

9) If you really want to know the Mavs' true MVP, it's Terry

8) No member of the Heat seemed all that interested in defending Barea on a drive

7) Barea was called for a blocking foul / three point play against Chalmers, giving the broadcast crew their first chance at an outraged Mark Cuban reaction shot

6) Chalmers turning the ball twice late was one of those Forgetting Your Role moments

5) Wade not getting the and-one call with 3:30 is tiny payback for 2006

4) The Heat didn't even foul late, just to prove that the fourth quarter didn't have to last long

3) This was the worst game of a great series

2) Miami was much, much, much better tonight with James off the floor, despite the fact that he led them in scoring

1) As good as this was, and as mean as this is to Dallas... don't bet too much on either of these teams being back in the Finals next year


snd_dsgnr said...

I have discovered the perfect way to enjoy NBA ball. At a very loud bar, watching a very large HD screen, drinking many beers. I couldn't have understood a word JVG was saying even if I had wanted to, and a large helping of alcohol makes the obscene number of commercial breaks practically fly by.

Dirty Davey said...

re: that last point, if Roy Tarpley comes back from suspension the Mavs should be an absolute lock to repeat next season.

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