Up the ante

You are looking at Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl, who decided that in the lead-up to this week's AFC Championship with Baltimore, he needed to change his name to Steelerstahl. Or, at least, start the paperwork without completing it, because he's going to just renege on this on Monday amd get back on with his life. Frankly, having shown that his name isn't worth more than a cheap laugh, I don't know why he doesn't just go through with it. or cut to the chase and go to Luke McVotewhore.

Similarly, one of those Gil Thorpian can't avoid reading moments in the sports pages is to read up on the Mayor's Bet, that always tiresome collection of foodstuffs that the tools who rule us rattle off in an oh-so-original bet.

Here's an idea: instead of your quaint regional "food," put some teeth in this bet. Have the loser paint City Hall in the opposing team's colors, and leave it that way for a year. Swap out the use of your spouse or kids. Get a Tyson-esque face tatoo of the opposing team's logo on your neck. In other words, show that you've got a set.

Or, um, better yet? STFU.