I Dream Of Lemur

Today on the Lemur front page, for a good long while, the end of the news feed was pimping one of their "Rumors" stories that are only available to Insiders. A quick blog search (seriously, the things that people spend money on these days) found the "story" that prompted this. It's our old friend Deion Sanders having a "premonition" that McNabb has asked out of town, because he's been So Ill Treated. When pressed on this by an actual media member, rather than a fellow member of what the late Howard Cosell perfectly dubbed the jockocracy, the former Cowboy confessed that he hadn't actually talked to McNabb, and more or less dreamed the whole thing up.

Now, I don't want to run down the Lemur for their editorial judgment in putting this in the news field -- i.e., the small amount of their front page that you more or less focus on, and almost trust to be important. After all, it's Super Bowl Week, there really isn't that much going on, and we all know that Eagle Fan is the meanest, most hate-filled and fundamentally unfair person in the whole wide world, and in all ways completely unique in his mendacity. He deserves every cross-eyed moment of annoyance you can give to him, because the 10% of the fan base that call and listen to sports talk radio has a less than realistic view of the starting QB.

Rather, I'd like to celebrate the new standards in sports journamalism, and introduce a similar service to all of you loyal FTT readers. For now, it's available to all, but I warn you, we might have to set up a VIP section for this later. And while some of this might seem childish or silly, please be assured that it has the exact same relationship to truth and veracity as what the World Wide Lemur did today. Enjoy!

Rumor: Bill Simmons Has Gerbil In Rectum

Rumor: Boston Red Sox Moving To Hartford

Rumor: Chris Berman can't get off unless fisted by Tom Jackson

Rumor: Terrell Owens About To Be Deported

Rumor: Kenny Mayne Eats Kittens. That He's Raped.

Rumor: Stuart Scott's wandering eye converts to Satanism

Rumor: USFL Returning From 25-Year Hiatus

Rumor: Everything Stephen A. Smith Says Is Important

Rumor: Disney Owns The Souls Of All Of Its Employees

Rumor: Upcoming Super Bowl Is Fixed