Top 12 reasons why the NFL needs to create a spring league

Every year, the lack of spring football -- by which I mean real, honest to goodness football, rather than some nonsense in a closet, wrestling-esque silliness or foreign force-feeding -- pisses me off. In a country where the NFL just utterly dominates the sporting consciousness, then goes away for the majority of the year, it's Just Stupid. And it will stop any year now, because markets are like that, and even the first year XFL drew reasonable ratings. So why not start it up now, now, now and get the following benefits?

12. For the sheer hilarity of fantasy drafts with tons of unknown players, followed up by weeks of Toss Darts point spread picks

11. No matter how bad the play is, it will get higher ratings than the NHL

10. Would allow the NFL an easy and wonderfully backhanded way to cover the LA market

9. Makes my rocking of the retro-cool Philadelphia Stars hoodie earn your worship and respect, rather than your respect and worship

8. Stops cold the weeks at a time when the mainstream American sports public has to actually think, however briefly, about basketball

7. Prevents tens of millions of football fans from having to interact with their families, which, really, is all to the best

6. Takes the gambling industry off the list of businesses begging for a government bailout

5. Shuts up megalopolises that say they really want/deserve/will cry or sue for a second NFL franchise

4. Fun's fun, but seriously, Ohio really deserves a professional football team

3. It would make many criminally underused new NFL stadiums be of use for 20 dates a year, rather than 10

2. Gets some of the most violent offenders in the country off the streets for weeks at a time in the spring

1. As soon as it gets popular, the NFL Network would get more games to black out