Your tears are the sweetest of nectars

Because I'm something of a hateful prick, one of my favorite post-game pastimes is surfing the blogs of whatever NFL team that lost to the Eagles. As you might imagine, that Week 17 game against the Cowboys provided at least a year's worth of solid stroke-fuel.

The Vikings, with their Midwestern stoicism, didn't give me much, but the Giants, oh, sweet, sweet, Giants. They have provided me with so much delicious pain. So irrational. So illogical. So, so beautiful. Join me, won't you, as we traipse through the mental and emotional collapse of a fanbase. (All misspellings, curious grammatical innovations and general stupidity original.)

From Big Blue 101: I'm too pissed for stats or analysis right now. When I wake from my drunken stupor in a few days I'll come back and talk about what this means for the Giants. But for now, I retreat to my basement with a bottle of Jack Daniels to soothe things over. Cause at least Jack Daniels doesn't disappoint me by blowing two fourth and short conversions in an important playoff game.

From the comments at ULTIMATENYG:I wish in football it would not be such a big deal to change QBs if one does not "have it." Clearly, Eli, our starting pitcher, did not have it, so bring in a reliever. Carr has zip and confidence. [David Carr's career stats: 59.7% completion percentage, 62 TDs, 70 INTs and a QB rating of 70.2 not including his grossly inflated numbers from this year.]

From the game thread at Big Blue Review: We played Philly because of a zip code instead of a record. San Diego made the playoffs because of a zip code instead of a record. Indy had to play a team on the road that they were 4 games better than because of a Zip Code. Atlanta had to go on the road against a team two games worse because of a zip code. The #1 seed in both conferences played harder opponents with better records because of zip codes.

I come from this little place called logic…and while living here, I’ve determined that a team with a better f---ing record deserves more than a team with a worse f---ing record…not for that team to be cheated because their taxpaying fan base happens to reside in a location further located east or west or north or south. It’s called bulls--t. I tried explaining why the NFL does the playoff system that they do to my non-football watching girlfriend, and she couldn’t understand for the life of her why the system would be so dumb…and I told her I don’t know either. [Dude, you had a bye week and a home playoff game. What else do you want? The Eagles to play with nine men on defense? They have to start A. J. Feely? Quit whining like a bitch.]

From the comments at The Blue Screen: So far, Eli Manning has had 1 good Quarter as a NY Giant. Last year in the superbowl. Other than that, he is the largest choke artist that ever donned a Giants Jersey. A complete waste of cash, continually looks like a dejected 6 year old while playing the game, has no heart at all, completely indecisive during every call at the line. Here's an idea, draft a quarterback with a pair, enough with the choir boy, send him packing!!!

From GMENHQ (Who said prior to the game, "The Eagles couldn't make the playoffs without the failures of others this season. Team of destiny? Absolutely not. Team of luck? Definitely."): Notice how I didn’t title this post “Eagles win,” or anything to do with the Eagles winning. Because for anyone who watched this game, it was clear that the New York Giants pulled a Plaxico Burress by shooting themselves in the foot (rather than the leg) all day long.

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was Donovan and the Birds shooting the Giants in the ass, but Giants fans should go ahead and believe whatever they like. They've got plenty of time to lie to themselves now.