Dolphins-Ravens Live Blogging: First Half Goodness

> An early fumble by LaRon McClain leads to a Dolphin drive that ends at the 1 when the Ravens stop the run; the subsequent Ravens drive ends at the 1 when Heap of Todd can't secure the ball and the goal line on a crossing route. Cue the "Early Rounds in a Heavyweight Fight" analogies from the broadcast crew, which is required by Analyst Law #8006 when a first quarter game is 3-3.

> Hoo boy, we got ourselves from Phil Simms. It's a good play call when it doesn't work, a good pass interference penalty when the pass was incomplete, and guys that can throw the ball hard make throwing the ball hard look easy. Let's just say that we won't be blogging sober for this one.

> When Joe Flacco has a clean line and time, he throws the ball hard, accurate and perfect a lot, which makes him a thing you like to watch... and the Dolphins are getting no rush on the QB. This is looking good for the road team.

> Over/under on how many times Jim Nantz praises the Miami weather: 8. Despite the strong first quarter push, I'm taking the under; I'm thinking that he'll get distracted in the second half by Miami's record from last year.

> If someone cheats you out of your heart attack burger from Wendy's, are you more or less depressed than if you had eaten it?

> Chad Pennington starts hot, but the Dolphin running game is not generating big holes. This is leading Phil Simms to talk about Pennington as an MVP candidate, despite the fact that most of Miami's big plays came from the wildcat this year. I'd use this as another moment of how Phil Simms is an utter rockhead, but it's more meaningful than that; Simms thinks the QB in any game that he's watching, assuming he's not a rookie, is an MVP candidate.

> Baltimore might be the only team in the league to use a white punt returner. Since he's white and small, I'm betting he's also scrappy. It's a good bet.

> Matt Hasselbeck, some chick, and Chase Utley are hawking some diet crud. Given that the former is chronically hurt, the latter is rehabbing from surgery, and the middle is some chick that, to be kind, no one has ever heard of... let's just say that I won't be making that buy.

> In the Honda truck ad where the weightlifters are moving immense pieces in a game of chess, it's called "Strength meets intelligence." But wouldn't intelligence involve, you know, using pieces that were meant to be moved, or at least had wheels?

> We've got Ed Hochuli for this game, fresh from his season of getting praised for his lifetime ow rok, rather than that first game disaster in Denver. And since the Chargers won yesterday, everything is OK and we can keep mouth jobbing him. Which I'd be fine with, but only if someone (anyone) could ever tell me who the *bad* refs are...

> Flacco is holding the ball so long, and the offense is having so few people get open, I'm starting to think the Ravens have James Thrash and Todd Pinkston at wideout. When Flacco faces a team with a real pass rush, this is going to look ugly.

> Feeding Whoppers to foreigners doesn't impress me. Having them not get gas and the run thirty minutes later, that would impress me...

> Simms thinks it takes patience, determination and toughness to have a good running game. I like those things too, but I think I'd take good running backs, a good offensive line, and a defense that that doesn't give up a ton of points, so I can use the darn thing. But then again, I'm not a genius like ol' Phil.

> Dawone Bess is, according to Simms, a tremendous catcher of the football. Did anyone else have rye? Along with the whiskey that I'm using to get through his, um, work.

> The Dolphins aren't a very talented team, but they are fun to watch anyway for their use of a myriad number of formations and mild gimmickry; even though most of it doesn't work big, it's just more aesthetically pleasing, and gives you the sense that they're trying harder. And then Pennington throws a bad pick, and all of that goes out the window for More Talent Now, Please.

> Both teams have tried wildcat wackiness today, and both times, it hasn't worked. You do wonder, or at least you do if you are me, if a team with a confident QB situation would give up third downs to this.

> With Miami down to 2 receivers, Pennington throws deep into double coverage for his second pick of the day, and Ed Reed does what Ed Reed does -- score touchdowns. The guy's simply a freak, the real MVP of the AFC, and the Ravens get the first truly big play of the day. 10-3 for the road team.

> The first play after the pick is a coverage sack, and the feel about this game right now is that if the Dolphins score more than three points today, it'll be an upset. I'm feeling great about this pick, which would take me to 0-3 for the postseason. Yay, failure!

> At some point, I'd like to see the play clock go to negative numbers, so that it's even more obvious when the offense has gotten away with a late snap.

> And after a big play to Derrick Mason and a stop from the Dolphins in the red zone, the half ends with a 13-3 Ravens lead. The forecast for the second half calls for Boredom, folks.