Colts-Chargers Live Blogging

> When Faith Hill says its win or go home, in HD, it seems like a threat. Seriously, I don't allow things like that in my home. And since it's clear that we can't stop the useless pregame song from procreating its way through all NFL games, I think we need to start working up other weak Red America superstars to crank up the useless. More singing, all the games, and maybe with distinctive new verses for the second half...

> LaDanian Tomlinson is hurt and of questionable effectiveness. Antonio Gates is worried aout his Achilles. Colts fan is worried about Darren Sproles, especially on returns. I'm concerned that I'll have to break off the blog to put the kids to bed, and that the pizza I ate is going to straight to my hips. We're all very concerned about this game, folks.

> The first play from scrimmage is Tomlinson to the right for 13 yards, and if he's going to get holes like that, he won't need functioning tendons. Sheesh.

> Bob Sanders is starting in this game. Of course he is. It's a playoff. The Colts know what they are doing, folks.

> Does anyone really care about the colleges that different guys went to? I don't, and the free advertising for the school seems silly to me. If I were an NFL starter, I'd say I was from Go Daddy.com, or whoever else showed me the cash.

> Is it ever a good sign when a guy spends the entire game on the exercise bike? The fact that Michael Bennett got into this game in the third quarter, and that Tomlinson gave up even the bike then, says not really.

> During tonight's game, NBC chose to advertise the Superstars of Dance and the Golden Globes telecast. Because your average NFL fan is just wild about dancing and awards shows, really.

> I'd like to thank Anthony Gonzalez for making my draft picks and multiple starting bids to this underperformer even more bitter. That way, I'll protect him in my keeper league, and go through this all over again next year...

> On consecutive plays, Antonio Gates and LaDanian Tomlinson make big plays to tie the game and cause their very bitter fantasy league owners to hurl their remotes at the television. And we've got ourselves a Ball Game, folks.

> I'm really not sure who is supposed to buy KFC's latest food-like product, given that it needs to be explained by douchebag guys who are deployed like football players. Is KFC advocating cannibalism? If so, is this any more disgusting than their normal products? Discuss amongst yourselves.

> Independent of Tomlinson's touchdown, does anyone really think that Sproles doesn't give the Chargers more bang for their buck at this point... and do the Chargers really want to relive the Michael Turner moment of losing the better back again, given that Sproles' contract is up?

> Does anyone else in the NFL use the word "maven" more than Al Michaels? I think not, but more importantly, isn't it kind of a meshugganah term for a football analyst?

> Hey, guess what? Marvin Harrison, with a career of coming up fairly small in the post-season when he was great, isn't very good at all in the post-season when he's bad and old. This has been one more Breathtakingly Obvious Thing that an NFL telecast needed to tell you...

> NBC is making a big deal out of the fact that the Chargers aren't going to show their defense before 10 seconds are left on the clock, because they think Peyton Manning never snaps the ball before that. If this is in fact true, why tell NBC... given that this should, you know, become something that the Colts find out about? Or is anyone connected to the Colts allowed to watch the game on broadcast?

And boom, halfway through the third, Manning finds Wayne for a long touchdown on a damn near broken defensive play for the go-ahead touchdown. Hmm, perhaps telling the broadcast team your strategy isn't very, you know, strategic. But it is... Norv-esque!

> Two second-half red zone turnovers, one a fumble at the one by Sproles and the other a pick by Philip Rivers, holds the Colts to a 3-point lead. In both cases, the Chargers' suspect defense did the job of holding without points, and they'd have had the lead if not for the broken play touchdown to Wayne. If the Colts win this game, it's most definitely another Houdini job, which might be their 6th or 7th of the season...

> Is it me, or is the Pepsi redesign a complete Obama ripoff?

> With 3:10 left on a third and 10, the Colts got a huge sack to force the punt, and if the Colts can get a couple of first downs, they'll win... but Charger punter Mike Scifres, in the middle of what might be the best day ever by a punter, pins the Colts on their own one yard line. Five of the Colts drives have started at the 10 or less, thanks to this guy. If the Chargers win this game, its due to Sproles and Scifres, and the third ranked guy doesn't really exist, at least not yet.

> Joseph Addai has his best play of the game, a six yard run that gets the Colts off the goal line. On second down, he can only get two, and on both plays, the Chargers call time out. The third and two play here is the ballgame, really; if the Colts convert and stay in bounds, they'll be sitting on it for the win. If the Chargers can get a stop, the game is very much alive.

> From the gun, Manning takes a sack at his own one yard line, having never looked right for the blitz. Awful, awful play by the quarterback there, not to mention the coverage to not put a hand on the blitzer. Now the Colts are punting with short yardage, with the Chargers just needing a field goal to force overtime. Ye gads. There is no reason to think that either of these teams can win next week.

> Colts' punter Hunter Smith, who usually stinks, gets off a great punt, but the Colts' usually terrible coverage teams aren't within 30 yards of Sproles when he takes it, and an easy return gets them to the Colts 38. An obvious screen is defensed for an incompletion. Rivers finds Gates, who sidles his way to a 10 yard gain and the first. Another one to Gates for 12 more, and it's a chip shot field goal now, with 56 seconds left, the home team is thinking of the win. On the entire drive, the Chargers' offensive line has kept Rivers pristine, which was everything.

> Sproles gets nine on the third down, and with 34 seconds left, it's field goal time; the Colts call time to give Manning one last chance in regulation. It's a 26-yard attempt for Nate Kaeding, who nails it for the tie. Heckuva finish here. The fast spike by Rivers after the completion to Gates, and Sproles coming up just short on the first down... boy, the losing team is going to be kicking themselves over all of their missed chances.

> The Colts' bad return teams hurt them again, as it's slow and not terribly profitable. Manning has two timeouts and needs about 40 yards in 24 seconds. A fairly useless screen to Addai results in a possible injury to Gilles Tucker, but with 16 seconds left, we're looking at overtime, really. Another short ball to Addai gets the first, but the Colts really seem to be looking at overtime now; I don't know when Peyton Manning became a short-pass-only QB.., maybe because the long balls should get picked, as that last play almost was. The final play of regulation is a kneel down, and we're to the coin flip.

> A few points about overtime. First off, the first to score wins things just rankles. Make it 15 minutes and give all of us degenerate gamblers the ability to still have our spread-covering dreams. Second, if they are still tied at the end of those 15 minutes, make them play another full period. What do I care if these guys all kill themselves? If they didn't want to work the extra time, someone should have won in regulation. Third, I have no third. It's really not that hard of a thing to fix.

> Sproles returns a deep kickoff to the 25; that's one more negative play for the Colts' coverage units. Sproles takes a one yard loss from a Raheem Brock tackle (and yes, it would have been nice if the Eagles' 7th round pick from Temple had been kept instead of not lost for dumb cap crap at the start of his career, not that I'm bitter). Second is a failed screen to Sproles; imaginative, Norv! The third down that could decide two teams' seasons is a drop to Sproles out of QB pressure, and he saves the team with a burst and gain. Wow.

> Bennett relieves Sproles and gets five. Second down sees Sproles tackled for a loss, but defensive holding is called for another first down, and we're just a play or two away from the Colts' having their season end. Over/under on the number of pissed off Peyton Manning reaction shots in the next five minutes: six. We've already had three, so take the over. (The Tomlinson side bet is also at six and three.)

> Two yard gain to Sproles; ball is at the 50. Antonio Gates wrestles, fumbles, and gets the first down by just being bigger and stronger, but wow, that ball was loose. Rivers gets away with intentional grounding on a sack that would have pushed them out of field goal range. These teams are going to drive everyone crazy in this period. Sproles to the 40 on second down, and 3rd and 8. Tension Is Building!

> On third and 8, Rivers throws an utter duck, but Chris Chambers draws a defensive holding call, and, um, wow. On some level, any pass that's that ugly should not be rewarded. The ball goes to the 35 on the call, and Sproles draws a clinching face mask as he's stuffed at the line. This Game Is Over, and Tony Dungy can go retire with one of the worst tastes ever in his gay-hating mouth. See, I can draw some positives about an 0-2 gambling start to the postseason!

> The Chargers run it on first and take a two yard loss, and then Sproles ices it with a 22-yard burst around the left side. LaDanian who? Chargers 23, Colts 17, and if they lose their next game by less than 10, I'll be amazed. Of course, I'm also more than amazed by this game, really. Good night.