Monday, July 30, 2007

Memo To Celtics Fan

Garnett isn't coming.

Jermaine O'Neal said no, too.

You don't have enough to get Kobe, and he doesn't want to be there, either.

Shawn Marion isn't coming through the door. (On the bright side, neither is Rick Pitino.)

Your team is anchored by two aging wing players, a big man who hasn't put up numbers outside of a garbage time tank season, and a bench that makes my Sixers look... comparable.

The most two important positions on the floor -- center and point guard -- are manned by foul and turnover-prone players with absolutely no offensive game (Perkins and Rondo).

Your coach could not find his ass with both hands and a map. Your GM hired your coach.

You aren't relevant now, you won't be relevant later, and your future looks worse than the Knicks.

So enjoy the latest KG rumors. Like every other deluded franchise and fan base, the straws that you grab at will always seem more plausible in the off-season.

2 comments:

gomezticator said...

Garnett DID come but Ainge gave away literally half his team to get him, plus two pieces of the future. For one guy.

This is gonna be the NBA's version of 'Herschel Walker to the Vikings'.

Also, Yahoo's Adrian Wojanahdshgdadczki wrote an incredible stupid article about how this was gonna save the NBA. Like the one Geico caveman commercial where he's doing a split screen interview with this long winded blowhard, my only response is... WHAT?

DMtShooter said...

Gomez, I went on at length about this today. Check out the Epic Drop link.

As for the idea that the Celtics have to be good for the NBA to matter... that's why we call them Massholes.