Top 10 Titles For Sergio Garcia's Upcoming Book

(AP) "To tell you the truth, I don't feel like I did anything wrong," said Garcia, who closed with a 73 and was 1 over in the (British Open) playoff (that he gagged up like a 14-year-old girl with low self-esteem, braces, and an overbite).

"I really didn't miss a shot in the playoff. I hit unbelievable putts. They just didn't go in . . . I should write a book on how not to miss a shot and not win a playoff."

10. Woe Is Me: L'il Sergio's Battle With Mean Old Reality

9. Belly Putting For Dummies

8. NOONAN!: What Happens When Tens Of Millions Of Americans Concentrate Their Hate

7. Sergio Garcia And The Deadly Waggles

6. Garcionomics: How Much Choking Cost Me In Endorsements

5. When Bad Things Happen To Irritating People

4. Sisterhood of the Traveling Chokes

3. Are You There, God? It's Me, Sergio

2. Chicken Soup for the Epic Failure's Soul

1. I Can Still Kick Jean Van Der Velde's Ass