Our Main Weapons Include Fear, Surprise, and Abject Stupidity

We realize, of course, that it's damn near required by law to discuss The Big Story in sports today -- the tragic but not terribly surprising downfall of a young black quarterback that looked so good, so little time ago.

We're talking, of course, about Daunte Culpepper, released by the Miami Dolphins, because they went out and got themselves Trent Green. Let that sink in for a little while -- they think so little of your talents that they bring in a guy that's positively ancient by NFL standards, with several years of decline despite always having an outstanding running game, who doesn't have nearly the same physical gifts nor draft pedigree...

Oh, you mean there was another QB Immolation yesterday, too?

Yes, the other paw finally dropped in the Mike Vick Cares More About Dog Fighting Than Wealth or Freedom case. A federal grand jury has indicted the southpaw QB (get it? Southpaw! I kill dogs!), asserting all manner of deeds that, once learned, can never be unlearned.

Even by modern athlete standards, Vick's self-inflicted flameout to his career staggers the mind. We're talking about a guy that was a video game come to life, a player who took a dome team into Green Bay and won a playoff game, and the greatest runner ever to play the quarterback position.

OK, he wasn't accurate or durable, and he probably was always better in video games or fantasy leagues... but to go from one of the five most marketable players in (perhaps) the world's most marketable sport to a guy looking at many *years* in the federal hole is just amazing. Don't discount the idea that he'll do time, either. Since Vick made the tactical mistake of not being in the Bush Administration, convictions may actually have consequences.

And for what, really? A taboo thrill. An indecent bloodlust. Combined with gambling. Beyond the sickness of it all, there's also rank stupidity. Do your weirdness in your '40s, no one would notice or care, and you'd probably have more money to buy your Island or Dr. Moreau anyway.

The Falcons, as soon as this freak show gets in their rear view mirror, are the prime candidates for the Nobody Expected This Good Year -- especially since Vick isn't actually a plus quarterback. Since this is football, they won't even take much of a cap hit from this.

And our final word on all this... did anyone have Mike as the Vick Brother to go to the Big House first? Because that bet had to pay off like a Chihuahua pulling off a win against a Doberman. (It's not the size of the dog in the fight, as they say.)

Update -- Turns out that if the Falcons trade or release him, it's $15 million against their cap. What a poison pill this is.