Friday, July 13, 2007

Top 10 Drawbacks of Wrigley Becoming the Official Chewing Gum of the NBA

Ed Note: On Wednesday, Wrigley became the official chewing gum of the NBA.

10) Ricky Davis is even less intelligible with a wad of gum in his mouth

9) Anderson Varejao thinks "Juicy Fruit" is his secret nickname

8) Grant Hill will get a paper cut from opening a pack and miss 40 games

7) Deceptively fresh breath will keep Adonal Foyle in the league for another year

6) PJ Carlessimo's triumphant comeback will be curtailed when he chokes on a wad

5) Shaq likes Bubble Yum instead, and when SHAQ GET MAD, SHAQ SMASH!

4) Introduces a potentially addicting habit to impressionable young NBA players

3) Double Mint Twins now have to get piercings, tatoos, chlamydia

2) Sticky gum residue on sneakers makes Red Auerbach roll over in his grave

1) Anything that's associated with the Cubs, even indirectly, can't be good

H/t, Crain's, as per Chicago

1 comment:

Tracer Bullet said...

I figured Hill would step on a wad and his ankle would explode.

Ads In This Size Rule