Monday, May 14, 2007

Top 10 Things The Chicago Bulls Are Better Than

“I don’t care who it is, we are better than being swept in four games.” – Bulls center Ben Wallace, after Game Four, in which the Bulls avoided elimination

10. Sleeping with a guy on the first date, just because they really, really, *really* like him

9. The Miami Heat (and, for that matter, the Washington Generals)

8. Taking the bottom bunk – actually, sorry, no, they are probably not better than that

7. Admitting that winning the 0-3 home game in a best of seven series is right up there with getting a “Participant” trophy in the great list of Life Accomplishments

6. Many, many past eras of Bulls basketball (Artis Gilmore! Orlando Woolridge! Jalen Rose! Don’t make us go on!)

5. Ordering from the 99-cent fast food menu, because you just know that shit is really bad for you

4. Realizing that Wallace is a much older and more expensive version of Tyson Chandler before signing him, or that he’s never going to be any better than he is right now (enjoy the remaining 3 years and $45 million of that contract, fans -- Ben is 33 in September)

3. Headbands, headbands, headbands!

2. Putting up with the me-first attitude of team cancers like Elton Brand

1. At least one of the teams that qualified for the playoffs in the Western Conference (but only because T-Mac *never* gets out of the first round)


Anonymous said...

Chandler as a better option than Wallace? What kind of drugs do you have over there? New Orleans still has Chandler for 4 more years at $45 million. He averaged less than 2 points and 5 boards in the playoffs last year for the Bulls.

For the same amount of money left on both their contracts, easy call taking Big Ben over Chandler. And you're stuck with Tyson for an extra year. Plus his middle name is Cleotis.

DMtShooter said...

For the record, the chewable kind -- and you're right, Chandler isn't exactly a building block to greatness, either. But 33-year-old hustle players are not usually a good bet.

If the Bulls pull off coming back from 0-3 to beat Detroit, then All Dough To The Fro.

Ads In This Size Rule