Bulls v. Celtics, Game 7: Fourth Quarter

Davis draws JoNo's third foul on a pick and roll, a play that Boston should run more, but when the Babe misses both, it's hard to push that theory. Gordon misses a three. Davis gets Lindsay Hunter on a mismatch as Rose was getting some rest and fouls him effectively. Marbury in, and Salmons gets his fourth and the team's third in under a minute. Pierce with an awkward miss. Hinrich draws a shooting foul on House, and after the makes, the game is as close as its been since the second quarter, 78-73.

House hits a wide-open three as Hinrich falls, but he responds with his first make of the game to make it five again. JoNo's fourth foul is on Davis, who misses yet another free throw, and he's now 3 of 7 from the line for the game. 81-75 with 10 minutes to play. Hinrich hits his second in a row and it's four again; I don't like Pierce's game at all so far tonight. Marbury continues his least valuable effort with a wide open miss. Hinrich misses a three that would have made it very close, and House responds with a three that he over-celebrates to a technical. He's made four of four from the arc, and it's 84-77 as we go to commerce, with Celtics Fan having real issues with Hero House getting that call.

Gordon makes the tech to cut it to 6 with 8:48 left. Perkins back in for Davis, Rondo in for the useless Marbury. Gordon with a bad miss and possession. Hard to see how the Bulls come back with the Celtics being in the penalty for the entire fourth quarter, and Pierce goes to work on that theory right away with a foul on Rose... but another miss is making Celtics Fan grip, their ninth miss of the game. Gordon misses, and JoNo gets number five; he obliges Celtics Fan by crying over an elbow and extra shot from Dirty Rondo. Pierce makes both, and it's 9 again. Salmons misses a three with good defensive switches from the home team. Scalabrine misses a wide open kill shot three. Rose misses over Perkins and it's getting late in the day for the Bulls to have empty trips. Miller with a steal on the pick and roll, and Hinrich makes a big three on a late House close. It's six again.

Perkins exploits a switch mismatch for an easy deuce. Gordon gets it to Salmons down low, who angles nicely for the make. Hinrich with a steal and Rose gets House's second, and Doug Collins wonders, correctly, why Ray Allen is on the bench right now. We go to commerce pondering this questions, along with why TNT has to torture us with the same house ads, over and over again, even though I'm something of a fan of Holly Hunter's tits. You have to admit, they're holding up well for their age. (Hey, what else am I supposed to look at on all of these repeat viewings?)

The refs adjust the scoring on a shot from the first quarter -- wow! -- to make it 89-84. You have to love NBA officiating, you really do. Allen back in. Gordon draws Allen's third, and with 5:39 left, Gordon makes both to cut it to three -- three! -- with 5:39 left. Gordon now has 27. Pierce to Allen, who misses, Gordon misses a transition three that might have been tipped. Pierce misses, but gets his own rebound, and feeds Perkins to the rack, a play that's killing the Bulls, because as good as Derrick Rose is at blocking shots, it's asking a bit much for him to do that against a center. 91-86 with 4:32 left. Allen picks up his fourth.

Salmons misses a drive. Four minutes left. TNT shows Marbury for some reason. Rondo misses at the rim. Salmons misses a three that was wide open and necessary. Rondo makes his fourth turnover of the quarter, careless. The Bulls respond with an ugly turn by Salmons; both teams looked gassed. Pierce misses in the lane, but Allen boards. Perkins is fouled hard down low by Miller, and double technicals are assessed . Miller's fifth foul, and with 2:53 left in regulation, the refs are trying to make sure this doesn't devolve from basketball. Lots of luck with that, gentlemen.

Perkins passes the Miller test by making both free throws; 7 point game with 3 minutes left, and if this were a normal series, you'd think it was End TImes. Nope -- House fouls Gordon, who is just money at the stripe, and he makes a quick two to cut it back to five. 2:45 left. Pierce walks, House walks, then makes a three. Huge, and naive of me to think either walk would be called. Gordon goes one on team and gets Pierce to commit his third. House has not missed tonight, and has 14 points on 5 shots. Good Heavens. After the Gordon make, it's 96-90 with 2 minutes left.

Pierce to Allen, who leans in to Gordon and gets the call, properly. Can one of the best free throw shooters in the game's history avoid the team-wide yips? Because honestly, had the Cetlics hit their free throws, this would be over already. Yes, he hits both... but the Bulls will not go quietly (surprise!), as Hinrich hits a three. The refs are calling every touch foul now, odd for this point in the game, but given the potential for trouble, understandable. Allen hits both to get it back to 7. 100-93 with 90 seconds left.

Gordon again; I'm not saying he scares Celtics Fan, but the arena soils itself when he touches the ball. 100-95.The C's run clock and wind up with Scalabrine calling timeout with 8 seconds on the clock. Not to sound bitter or nothing, but the fact that the Celtics can't get killshot stops is why they aren't going to defend their title. 65 seconds left. Celtics Management plays "Eye of the Tiger" just to remind us all that Celtics Management is Not Hip. Lindsay Hunter can't get in to give his foul. Pierce with a miss. JoNo board, and Gordon finally misses as House gets away with a bump. JoNo's sixth foul puts Pierce on the line, and he makes both to make the comeback very improbable. 102-95 with 46.8 left, and TNT notes how Gordon has really done it all at the line, not from the field.

Collins notes how the early bonus situation might have saved the Celts. Miller rolls to the hoop for an easy one, but then the Bulls fall asleep and fail to foul; Allen gets to the rack and scores, adding the Miller sixth foul. How you fail to foul there, I have no idea. Hunter in for Miller, and it's 105-97 with 36.6 seconds left; if this somehow gets to overtime now, Celtics Fan will slit his wrists. Hey, hope springs eternal.

Gordon misses a three, but a Hinrich tap makes it six. An unconscionable Rondo steal leads to a Gordon miss from three that would have been absolutely freaking unreal, but it stays out, and Salmons can't keep it in bounds. 105-99 with 25.6 left.

Marbury in. Really. Doc Rivers must enjoy drama. Gordon fouls him, his third. Can the Least Valuable Player prolong the drama? Nope, Starchild makes both, and it's 107-99 with 25 seconds left. Gordon misses, House rebounds, and that, Finally, Is That. The Chicago Vampires have had their heads cut off, the stake in the heart, the head removed, garlic placed in the mouth and the entire mess left in the noon day sun. House makes both to make it a 10 point game. Hinrich misses, Pierce rebounds, House throws it to the rafters, and honestly, I think Celtics Fan is too tired to cheer. It's over; Celtics advance, 109-99, with the scariest 10 point win ever.

At the end of it all, the end of the best series in NBA history, it just came down to this: the Bulls weren't ready to win this, and the Celtics weren't ready to die. And for everyone who thinks the Bulls are just going to be back and be better next year... well, Gordon's a free agent, they need to figure out how Luol Deng works with Salmons on the roster as well, and I'm not necessarily buying the idea that time will make Vinny del Negro smart.

Congratulations, really, to both teams for playing the series of the decade, if not the league's history; even tonight's game was riveting, if only for what had come before. Here's hoping we wont spend the rest of the next two months pining for its return.

Bulls v. Celtics, Game 7: Third Quarter

TNT informs us that the Bulls' largest second half comeback this year was from 10 down; that's not promising much drama, really. Salmons misses, but Perkins turns. Nice ball movement leads to a Rose jumper, and it's 52-40, first field goal in nearly nine minutes. Thomas blocks Davis and foul call is late but correct; I suspect that if Davis had blood on his face, that would have been called a flagrant. Davis makes the first only. Thomas off a drive from Gordon, and Davis is blocked by JoNo. A very long pause before Rose is called on Davis getting the charge call. 53-42. Pierce misses another three, and Noah's 11th board. Rondo with a touch foul, and he's over playing everything now. Rose makes, and it's now to a 9-point game. Crowd was quiet, but then Allen got free of Gordon from a pick. JoNo collects Davis's third foul, and give Sideshow his due; he now has 2 points to go with 11 boards, and you can live with that thanks for the blocked shots.

Davis uses Salmons on a switch; back to 11. Salmons not exactly covering himself in glory in this game. Rose hits his third in a row from good ball movement, and Gordon is more the point guard now. Allen replies with the three, and he's just the safety valve now. JoNo with the o-board on a no-call on Gordon, and that's Perkins' fourth foul: telling. The free throw make cuts it to 9 again.

Rondo to Davis but a miss, and after the Perkins o-board -- surprised he's still on the floor -- Davis turns it. Gordon misses a three that would have made this a lot tighter, and Perkins finally gets of the floor. Davis scores from a Rondo feed; positively Nash-esque, that. Hinrich in for Thomas, and he's another guy who's hurt his team tonight. Salmons misses from three, but the JoNo back tap saves the possession, and Gordon can't convert either; the possession continues with Gordon over-dribbling on an iso on Allen, ugly possession, but it ends with Gordon getting to the line. Two makes gets it back to 9.

Rondo drives, Noah grabs him by the shoulders and spins him to the floor as Celtics Fan goes apeshit. We go to commerce wondering if this is the first of many important referee moments, but for now, no flagrant call. The teams trade points, but with Brad Miller 's make, that's the first bench field goal of the game for the Bulls; the lead is 8, but a Rose turnover in transition is a bad unforced error. Hinrich with a steal on Scalabrine, and Rose doesn't get the call on a drive, but the rim has lids on both sides, and random slop offense leads to a timeout, but not before a Rondo technical from Steve Javie. Some Dumbness Right Now, and the Bulls have taken advantage enough to cut the lead in half.

Davis with a make, answered by Salmons, and the lead is still 7. Rondo picks up his tenth assist on a great feed to Pierce. Miller scores from in tight. Pierce all the way to the hole. Miller with a miss. Allen to the rack and it's 9 again; the Bulls are staying within striking distance, but not a lot more than that.

Allen makes two from the line to make it 11 again. Rose over Davis, and he's making a lot of those now -- 10 in the quarter. Davis to the rack for the old school three, back to 12. Salmons to the rack for what should have been a block/charge call, but the refs wimp out and call a touch foul on Rondo before the drive. Salmons makes both, and it's back to 10. TNT making a big deal out of Rondo's 30 dimes to 0 turns, and, well, they should. Rondo gets to the line on Hinrich's first. TNT also notes that Hinrich and Miller are 2 of 10 tonight, after being huge all series. Well, um, folks? That's what happens to bench players on the road in Game 7. Rondo makes both, and if the Bulls really want to make a run, they need stops. JoNo to the line, makes both, back to 10 with a minute left in the third. Davis misses from distance. Gordon with a huge, beautiful three pointer to cut it to 7. Last possession is Rondo on Hinrich, and he turns it over, and that's it. Celtics 78, Bulls 71.

Bulls v. Celtics, Game 7, Second Quarter

The worst minutes of any NBA game are the first four minutes of the second quarter; it's where you get your deep bench players and exceptional sloppiness. Will this game follow the same script? Gordon owns Marbury with a 3, and he's got 15 now. Rivers puts Davis back in; risky. Gordon over Marbury again, and the only way he's missing against Marbury is from drooling too much. Scalabrine's second three keeps this back to 6. Salmons picks up his second on a driving foul, and he's pulled for Rose. Marbury takes a wide open jumper and misses it. Miller misses from good ball movement. Davis gets free on a pick and roll and gets an easy lay up; it's 32-28.

Gordon actually misses. Thomas blocks Davis, and Hinrich gets Scalabrine's third foul on a drive, a call that Boston Fan disputes, but that the big redhead does not. When Brian Scalabrine's foul trouble is a concern, you are not possessing a lot of front court depth. He leaves for Perkins, and after two more Hinrich makes, the Bulls are 11 for 11 from the line, and lead by six.

JoNo steal; he's in for Miller. Rose misses over Marbury, a good look. Allen gets to the rack awkwardly and scores in traffic. Thomas makes over Davis, and that seems significant. 36-30, Bulls. Perkins rolls to the rim and scores with more offensive agility then he's ever shown before this series. House steals from Thomas in traffic; Pierce can't score from in tight, but he gets the call against Thomas. He makes both and it's a two-point game, and this game hasn't disappointed for overall play.

Good defensive stop from the Celtics, and it's a shot clock violation. 6:30 left, and Davis dunks off a Perkins pass for the 36-all tie. House turns JoNo for the Bulls' fourth second quarter giveaway. del Negro brings in Miller for Thomas to try to stop the turnovers. Rose misses a step-back. Davis misses from a Miller block, but the sloppiness continues on the other end, and we go to commerce still tied. No denying that the Celtics are getting their legs under them with inside scoring, and that the Bulls aren't really scoring outside of Gordon.

Gordon doesn't get a call on a terrible no-call from the ref on what would have been Davis's third, and House hits a three in transition. Rose misses, and Pierce converts for an 11-0 Celtics run. Miller calmly pump-fakes Perkins and gets to the line, but he misses the first, the first Bulls miss of the night from the stripe. The second is good, and it's 41-37. House hits again, and that's a major worry for the Bulls, from the arc. Rose misses in traffic, no calls tonight for him, but Pierce turns it in half court, and Rose finds Salmons, who draws Perkins second. The Celtics' bigs now have 2, 2 and 3 (there has been some suspicious switching), and Salmons misses the second. Perkins over Noah, and he now has 8 and 8. The Bulls call a timeout, and the inside offense has led to an 8-point Celtics lead, their biggest of the game.

Gordon misses out of the time out. Pierce misses in tight, and Salmons is whistled for his third foul. It's 23-11 this quarter, 12-0 in the paint. Davis misses, and Perkins picks up his third foul, terribly dumb push off on Miller that the older vet sold well. Mikki Moore in for Perkins. Rondo forces yet another turnover. Pierce picks up Rose's first foul as the game gets draggy. Pierce has a nosebleed; quick, get the wheelchair!

Davis misses from outside. Miller drives ugly, and picks up the charge. Nothing looking right or easy for the visitors right now. Pierce spins and gets to the cup, but the ball is spiked loose. Allen gets it down low, blocked, recovers, blocked, and Moore converts the garbage. Hinrich turns, the Bulls' 8th of the quarter, and this is the way that people thought the series would go originally -- the Bulls getting munched by the Celtics' defense, especially in the half court. Moore hits both, and it's a 12-point game. Where's the super drama game we were promised? 20-2 Celtics run. Rondo steal off Miller, and it's hard to tell how much of this is good defense against bad offense. del Negro calls another timeout to try to keep this in reach, but most of the second quarter has just been a nightmare for them.

Hinrich gets a cheap call as Celtics Fan sings off-color; the refs review it, because that's just what happens; Hinrich then follows it up with two misses. Yeesh. Rondo with an easy drive for his first hoop, and it's Coronation Time for the defending champs, as Rondo blocks Rose, Hinrich misses from distance, and it's 52-38 at the half. We're 24 minutes away from this ending with a whimper. More later.

The Bulls and Celtics Will Make It A Best Of Eight

Anyone want to still argue with me on how this is the best series ever?

Tonight in Chicago, the teams went to extra time for the fourth time in six games, which now means they've played seven periods of overtime, or an extra 35 minutes of basketball. After the triple overtime game 7 (what, you think it could possibly be shorter?), they'll have an extra game from just the overtime.

I have no words, really, for how absurd this series has become, how much these teams really hate each other by now, how often the rest of the NBA playoff schedule has been pre-empted by this razor dance, or many times when a team has needed to make a big shot to prolong the drama, they have.

How crazy are these teams? Ray Allen had 51 points in 59 minutes, with any number of flat-out crazy makes in the extra time. Paul Pierce was diving into the stands for loose balls with two minutes left in the third overtime. Brad Miller canned two critical free throws in the second overtime, with the weight of the memories all over him. You got 21 lead changes, 17 ties, nearly four hours of time on the clock, and I'm not even sure this was the best game of the series, because they've all started to melt together by now. The Celtics can't possibly have the legs to win this by now. The Bulls can't possibly complete the upset on the road in Game 7 with such paltry post-season experience. And there's dozens of other ways to talk about it, really. I'm giddy.

With 40 seconds left in the third overtime, Joakim Noah made a steal on Paul Pierce, made it all the way to the rack, and collected the slam with Pierce's ejection foul. The kind of play that, if this is the beginning of the end for the Celtics, will be the signature moment of fail.. but because this series is something that would get you laughed out of an office had you put it in a screenplay, Eddie House then scored for the first time in the game to tighten it right back up. It led to a block for the ages from Derrick Rose on Rajon Rondo that should have ended it, but hell no -- still a one-point game, because this series is just that way. Rose then missed what would have been clinching free throws, but Rondo misses from 40 at the buzzer, and that's your ball game. Bulls had 'em all the way.

How does Rose get that lift for the block in his 59th minute of playing time in this game? How can he then miss the free throws? What was Pierce thinking to commit his sixth foul on the Noah steal and dunk? How much is Brad Miller feeling it for going back to the line repeatedly in overtime and converting over and over again? When did John Salmons become a basketball player, could be possibly do that on the road?

And over and over and over and over, series without end. I hate both of these teams, for the most part, and I still feel like I could write a book about this series. It's been just that good.

I'm sorry for people who aren't NBA fans, when it comes to this series. As much as I love the MLB and the NFL, there just isn't anything that compares to this kind of series, just building and building on itself. Football can't get this level of knowledge of each other as teams, since you can only play the same team three times in 19 games. Baseball doesn't have this level of lather-rinse-repeat hate, since the pitchers constantly change. The closest you get to this is hockey, especially with the extra time, but since so much of that is dependent on your goaltender, and the goalies never face each other directly, even that's not the same. This series is so good, I was almost grateful that my team stopped playing tonight, because even I was having a hard time watching that series over this one, especially at the end.

People talk about how NBA players lose their legs after 1,000 games; by that standard, I'm pretty sure both of these teams are going to still be gassed from this when the 09-10 series begins next November. They also talk about how, if the Bulls somehow survive Game 7 in Boston, how they will have become the mystical Team That No One Wants To Face, because they clearly are about as much fun to face as the Spartans in a tight space.

But all of that is for another day. We're getting a Game 7 for the best series ever, the way we're supposed to, and even the fact that the rest of the NBA playoffs will be anticlimactic after it doesn't matter in the here and now. See you Saturday.

A Problem With No Solution

In the halftime analysis of Rondo-Miller Gate, the TNT crew got the call from last night's game right, while the NBA didn't. "He hit a guy in the head and made him bleed," as Chuck Barkley said, and it just had the Chuckster's be-all and end-all air of simple fact.

But there's more, really. I'd also like to point out the hopelessly arbitrary nature of this, for the record, by having you imagine how the play would have been called if:

1) Miller's the guard, and Rondo's the big man.

2) Miller goes to the ground and stays there for five minutes, apparently concussed.

3) The play occurs in Boston, with the game conditions reversed (i.e., Rondo driving to tie, Miller fouling), and

4) It's an elimination game, rather than a Game 5.

(No, seriously, think what it means if this is how Game 7 goes down. Great googly moogly. I hope I didn't just call the shot.)

You see the problem; all of these changes don't really make a difference in the play, but they dramatically change the likelihood of the flagrant foul being called.

That's because, on some level, the flagrant foul call is completely arbitrary and judgmental, and yet, it has a huge impact on the game. No other sport has this kind of physical issue that impairs the judgment of the referee; if a small or big pitcher hits someone with a pitch, the batter takes first base. If a small market NFL team's cornerback gets tangled up with one from a large market on a game-changing pass interference call / no-call, the NFL doesn't lose tens of millions of dollars in lost ratings if the call goes to the non-plus market.

There is, of course, no way to "fix" this situation; it's just the nature of the beast in basketball, a non-contact sport where the best teams use contact to win. It's also going to come up only when the games are being watched the most, which is to say, close games among big market teams. Hopefully, that situation continues, because it's just a better problem to have, since it means we'll continue to have great playoffs. Anyway, moving on.

205 Drop: Top 10 Qualifications For A Flagrant Foul And/Or An Ejection

The drop contains many actual new jokes, I think, but it's late and I just made the mistake of realizing that there's at least 5,000 words of the Bad Tooth tomorrow that will somehow justify everything the Celtics do while taking a thousand-word piss on my Sixers, all while giving me just enough useful insight into the rest of the Association that I just can't ignore it.

The Lemur... it's a controlled psychological experiment designed to shorten my life! (Especially now that I know they read the site. Hi, guys!)

How Great Is Your Foul

If you're just reading that the Celtics survived another epic battle against the Bulls tonight, go catch some highlights; it's not to be missed. But if you have, read on.

I'm not sure what the Celtics and Bulls do at this point for an encore, really. But the idea that the fourth game in five that goes to overtime, between teams that are clearly so even that "Coin Flip" does not begin to describe the whisper of difference that they've seen to this point... it's been, um, tight really.

Tonight's game is going to get lost in the storm of whether Rajon Rondo got the foul call he should have for bloodying up Brad Miller on what might have been a tying drive in overtime, leading to Miller missing the critical free throws. The trouble is that how you see that call is tied up in what laundry you want to win; my general Masshole antipathy tells you that while I don't really care that much for the Bulls, I'm still going that way. But no one is arguing that it's a flagrant unless Miller is bleeding, which he did. Rondo could have concussed him and it would have looked better. And if you're going to take down the champions in their building, even in their weakened fever state, you have to be more than a coin flip better.

As for the rest of the fourth overtime in five games -- and just by writing that, this has gone far beyond the Are You Kidding stage...

> Um, not to take anything away from Paul Pierce and his team-carrying ways in the clutch, but especially after Ray Allen was on the bench with foul trouble, how do you let him keep shooting the same shot, from the same location, to keep beating you?

If it's my team, I've seen this movie before. I'm tripling the Truth to get anyone else to take the shot instead. Given how scared Stephon Marbury seems of The Moment now, and how genuinely cursed Tony Allen appears to be, the fact that Pierce was able to do his usual late-game magic has to be driving Bulls Fan crazy by now. At the end of this series, the critical difference between these teams might have just been Vinny del Negro at coach, which wouldn't be the biggest possible surprise.

> It was nice, as a Sixers fan who knew John Salmons when he was useless, to see that some things don't change. 17-5-3 in 49 minutes isn't exactly scintillating, and neither is 5 for 15.

> As close as the Bulls came to winning tonight, when you shoot 40% from the field and your opponent shoots 48%, that's just a losing play. Yes, the Bulls got to the line more and made more threes, but that's just too much brickwork to overcome, especially on the road.

> If you don't think this one is going to Game Seven, I've got a bridge to sell you. First off, this Celtics are slaves to the drama, as last year's Hawks and Cavs tilts show. Second is that the refs are going to wrap up Game Six with a bow after the Rondo foul. Third is that the Association is going to want to wrap up the best first round ever with the biggest Game 7 ever. Don't be surprised if the Celts just start the bench players and run the white flag in Chitown.

The greatest NBA playoff series ever

I want to hate this Bulls-Celtics series; honestly, I do. With Boston Fan being so damned self-involved, I don't want to watch this; I don't want to get sucked in. And yet, it's just ridiculous.

After a legitimately great Game 1 overtime win in Boston, the Bulls-Celtics series had settled down into a case of Champions Schooling Children, the way that just about every neutral observer might have guessed. Game 2 was a tight game in which Ray Allen got the better of Ben Gordon, and Game 3 was an absolute spanking by the road team.

Today in Chicago, both teams played a game for the ages, going to double overtime and more or less making Cavs-Pistons Game Four unwatched outside of its home markets. You had it all: Actual Unpleasantness between Brad Miller and Big Baby Davis (seriously, the latter has absolutely nothing on Vlade Divac; he was right up there with Soccer Player in terms of going down from minimal contact), astonishing defensive lapses from the young home team, startling clutch shots, etc., etc. Finally the home-town team outlasted the older team in double overtime, 121-118, and we've got a 2-2 series.

Let's start with what the Association's haters and Hockey Fan will notice: the fun of hearing Bulls Fan chant Bull S*it, along with Jeff van Gundy (shockingly!) going in favor of the ugliness. Kudos, also, to the game's refs, who reacted to the Davis Flop by ringing up fouls on the road team; frankly, when your team has a player that does something like that, you should get the next half-dozen calls against you on general principles. (Actual telecast transcript: "Rondo does a good job falling down." Yes, good job, there. That's what basketball should be about -- selling fouls.)

You start with the point guards. Derrick Rose and Rajon Rondo are wonderful to watch, and while Rose's game appeals to the purists more, Rondo is the better player, at least this year: when you throw down a triple double with no turnovers, you make up for your lack of a reliable mid-range jumper. Ben Gordon made an unconscionable shot to give the home team the lead with just over 30 seconds to go. Allen replied from distance with just under 10 second left, as the Bulls decided that guarding him at that point in the game might keep them from a longer off-season vacation.

I want to hate this. I'm not a fan of either team. It's not like it's the only good series in the Association this year. It's a first-round series, not a second, third or fourth. It's between two teams that have absolutely no chance of playing for the championship in six weeks. (And before you start, Celtics Fan, your team had Brian Scalabrine playing meaningful minutes today. Next.) At the end of it, I'm still convinced that we're going to have a hard-fought but absolutely predictable Celtics win, more or less how everyone saw this coming before it started.

When I'm watching Kendrick Perkins dueling Sideshow Bob Noah down low, I'm really not thinking that this is something that I'm going to telling my kids about. When I see John Salmons and Kirk Hinrich failing to stop Paul Pierce, I don't think Pierce is going to put this on his highlight reel as one of the defining highlights of his life. When I see Vinny del Negro pacing the sidelines, I don't think Lemur Classic. Sorry.

And yet...

You've got a young team beating on an old one. You've got a champion getting scared out of their jock in the first round. You've got rookies serving notice, live crowds filled with hate, and just enough scumbags on both sides that you expect to see violence before it ends. Watching Kevin Garnett in a suit makes me smile, and if you don't enjoy watching Scalabrine cry over a clear path foul call, you don't have a pulse. It's freaking great.

It's also teeth-rattlingly frustrating, because I'd really like to play the Resentment Card on this. While this is going on, my little 6 Seed That Might (your Philadelphia 76ers) is up 2-1 against the Magic. Unlike the Celtics series, every game has been competitive to the final whistle. Unlike the Celtics' series, the games have seen crazy comebacks (Philly came from 18 down in the first two games to win the first and make the second competitive, and in Game 3, the Magic rallied from down a dozen to make it a single-possession game). In my team's series, there has been two last-second game-winning shots by Andre Iguodala and Thaddeus Young. You've got the best power player in the Association (Dwight Howard), one of the best three-point shooters (Rashard Lewis), one of the best all-around guard duos (the Andres, Miller and Iguodala), and a potentially emerging second-year man in Young.

And what did the Bad Tooth say about this series? That it was the worst in the East this year, if not the worst playoff matchup in decades. That Philly Fan didn't care about his team, and hated them, because they dared to make the Elton Brand Move, which is something no team's fans could ever forgive, giving how incredibly stupid it was to overpay for a low-post scorer and rebounder for a team that desperately needed low-post scoring in its first -round playoff loss last year. Oh, and just for good measure, he also pissed all over the AI 2000 series against Milwaukee, resurrecting the hoary chestnut that the Milwaukee Bucks' kitten-soft jump-shooting team led by Furious George Karl, Glenn Robinson, Sam Cassels and Allen were robbed, robbed I say, by a team with superior team defense and the clear Most Valuable Player.

Honestly, life is annoying enough for Philly Fan; he gets to hear how wonderful New York History is, how someone else's rivalry just always matters more, how wonderful Boston Success is, and how awful he is, really, for daring to boo people who deserve it, or for caring enough about the outcome of the game to try to influence by making the visiting team's supporters and players uncomfortable.

But none of that matters when it comes to what it is in front of you, which is Celtics 2, Bulls 2... and who knows, maybe the double overtime was just enough extra minutes to finally take the starch out of the champions; the game did take over 3.5 hours, after all. We Shall See.

Evening Up

We'll lead off with a mostly irrelevant video that fills my heart with blood. Enjoy.



Tonight in the NBA Playoffs, the old men of the Association (Boston and San Antonio) got back to even in their series against Chicago and Dallas, respectively. But there was a world of difference in how they did it.

In Boston, it was a gunfight between Ray Allen and Ben Gordon, with Allen making the last shot to save the home town team. After 96 minutes of basketball, it's clear that the Bulls have, for perhaps the first time ever in the playoffs (and that includes their Jordan teams), a real edge in the front-court, and that was with the C's getting great games out of Kendrick Perkins and Big Baby Davis.

If Perk and Baby give the Celts that game on the road... well, we should all feel better about stem cell research finding a cure for cancer, since everything will now be officially on the table. The Celts will be tight and probably steal back home-court behind a Paul Pierce uprising, but Celtic Fan isn't suffering from overconfidence anymore, and if Rajon Rondo stiffens up from that scary fall he took in this one, it could be over quickly. Derrick Rose ain't no punk, y'all.

(What will happen? Vinny del Negro will somehow blow a game at home, the C's will ride some highly dubious officiating, and the favorites will advance. But lo, they will sweat hard over it.)

In San Antonio, it was the Tony Parker Show, as the quicksilver point ended this Jo Jo Barea nonsense with 38 points and 10 assists in a going-away win for the home team. It's easy to imagine that Dallas, having gotten Game One, just weren't all that interested in putting forth the full energy in trying to get the 2-0 hammerlock, but after watching what Parker did to them tonight, I'm off the ledge from my Spurs pick for the series.

In the NBA playoffs, it's usually Team With The Best Player Wins, and no one was better than Tony Parker tonight. Ever since the We'll Regret It For A Decade deal with New Jersey to send Devin Harris east for the final years of Jason Kidd, the Mavs have absolutely no one who can keep Parker in front of him. They'll certainly be closer when Dirk Nowitzki gives them more than a 3-for-14 effort, but it's not like the Spurs have seen a vintage Tim Duncan game yet, and I'm just not in the chorus of people thinking that he's done. I also just think that the second-tier Spurs scorers (Finley, Gooden, Bonner) are going to step up and win them a road game.

See you tomorrow night, as the Finalists show up to remind us all why none of this matters...

Awards Time

With the next to last night of NBA action happening tonight, and my Sixers looking like the worst team in the post-season with their sixth straight loss (a 100-98 effort to a Celtics team that didn't have Kevin Garnett or much of a reason to play hard)... well, it's as good a time as any to rattle off my picks for the major awards. Let's get right to it, so I can get the stink of that game out of my mind.

Most Valuable Player -- LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

People have been trying to make this into a competitive race for months now, and the general public, for one, isn't fooled. James is simply the best player in the Association on the team with the best record. The year he's had hasn't been matched statistically since Jordan's glory days.

Which isn't to denigrate the year that Dwayne Wade had. He's the clear number two choice, will most likely survive the first round against the Hawks, and will scare the living hell out of whatever luckless high East seed has to deal with him. He's just not as good as James. There's no shame in that.

As for Kobe, I'm not feeling it. In the future history of this year, he might be remembered for a championship, and he might be remembered as the year that he finally trusted his non-Shaq teammates.

But this is the year in which the most talented player in the league -- James -- became one of the hardest workers, too. Getting back on defense to make a saving and spectacular block just seemed to be a nightly occurrence. The pregame hijinks showed that, in a very real way, he was embracing a leadership role. The way he incorporated and raised Mo Williams, and how the team didn't miss a beat even as personnel shifted, just speaks volumes. And the 39-1 and counting home record just served notice that this was his year.

It's his year. And we're going to keep saying that for the next decade. Get used to it.

Rookie of the Year - Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

Chicago is a playoff team, and Rose is their best player. That makes him the choice over Memphis's OJ Mayo, and New Jersey's Brook Lopez. Either of those guys might have actually been better players this year, but point guards just matter more, and it's not as if the Bulls were awash in talent this year, especially with Luol Deng hurt for much of the year. Rose needs to get better, and he will, but for this award, he's more than good enough.

Coach - Rick Adelman, Houston Rockets

There's a lot of thinking that this needs to go to Mike Brown of the Cavaliers, or the criminally under-regarded Jerry Sloan, who has somehow not won this thing for his entire damn career. You could also think about San Antonio's Gregg Popovich, who could get it every year, or the Lakers' Phil Jackson, who really did a fantastic job of making sure that his talent meshed. But for my money, I'm giving it to Houston's Rick Adelman, who survived Ron Artest, the auto-ejection of Tracy McGrady, a near-fatality to big man Carl Landry, a midseason trade of his starting point guard to Orlando, and his best player (Yao Ming) being a defensive sieve despite being 7'-5". I still don't like this team's playoff chances, just because Artest is far too crazy to survive national attention and pressure, but give Adelman his due. This could have been a train wreck, and instead, they are highly competitive.

Most Improved Player - Paul Milsap, Utah Jazz

Most folks go for the easy choice of guys who are scoring more points thanks to an opportunity (the Nets' Devin Harris), a second-year player just finding his range (the Thunder's Kevin Durant), or the slow rising action of an improving veteran (Indy's Danny Granger). I just can't get enough of Milsap's game, a guy who just came from nowhere to be a critical part of a potentially dangerous playoff team, and a guy who more or less Wally Pipped Carlos Boozer in Salt Lake. To me, the MIP is about rewarding this kind of player, not adding to the trophy closet of players who will find themselves getting honored enough.

Sixth man - Lou Williams, Philadelphia 76ers

Everyone takes Jason Terry on this one, but Terry's really not a sixth man; he's just a guy who, for some reason that no one outside of Dallas can really tell me, doesn't start. Williams, on the other hand, is a true bench guy; he doesn't start because he's not better than Andre Miller, Andre Iguodala or Thaddeus Young. But when he comes into the game, he is a real difference maker, having scored an ungodly number of points from that position without being, unlike Terry, a defensive matador. He's a big reason why the Sixers get to the line so much, have a cohesive second unit despite erratic talent, and simply deserves more play than he gets nationally, in that I'm pretty sure no one outside of Philadelphia knows about him at all. Give him the award.

Defensive Player of the Year - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

This one's not even close. Howard lead the Association in boards and blocks, the first time that's been done in forever, and he's the only reason why Orlando's situation (i.e., a bunch of guys who can shoot threes, none of whom are known for their defense) works. If he were hurt, you'd be looking at a .500 at best team, because their defense would look Phoenix-esque. I don't think they are a Final Four team, because I don't like their guard play that much, and when your best fourth quarter player is Hedo Turkoglu, that doesn't smell like a championship to me. But that's not what we're dealing with for Defensive Player of the Year. It's Howard, who is good on the ball, off the ball, and in every other way.

True Value

What recession? Jerome James, now with the Bulls, has played for five minutes of NBA action this year, all in one game on December 19, a 24-point loss to the Bucks.

His take for that work: $6.2 million dollars, or over $1 million a minute, and in all likelihood, about 2 to 3 times the lifetime take-home pay of anyone reading this.

I'm telling you, folks, if only Isiah Thomas had been given more power, we would have all completely avoided this economic problem...

Compounding the Sin

I know, you've waited 48+ hours to get the FTT take on this and all, but here goes...

The Cleveland Cavaliers acquired former defensive player of the year Ben Wallace and swingman Joe Smith from the Chicago Bulls in an 11-player, three-team blockbuster deal on Thursday.

Cleveland also got forward Wally Szczerbiak and guard Delonte West from the Seattle SuperSonics, general manager Danny Ferry announced Thursday.

In exchange, the Cavaliers sent Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Cedric Simmons and Shannon Brown to the Bulls and Ira Newble and Donyell Marshall to Seattle.

Cleveland also received Chicago's 2009 second round draft selection and Seattle acquired Adrian Griffin from the Bulls.

In any Monster Deal, there's an awful lot of dross to sort through. The remarkable thing about this deal is that almost all of it left one team -- the Cavs.

When the dust settled, Cleveland now gets to start Wallace, Ilgauskas, Sczerbiak and West with LeBron, and bring Gibson, Varaejo and Smith off the bench. (And the starters may be wrong and all, but that's their top eight, and all will get time.)

Here's what that does for them. It means that they won't be wondering where Hughes and Gooden are when the chips are down. It means they won't have a 37% shooter who isn't a point guard... playing point guard. It should mean a whole lot less of Eric Snow, since with Wallace on the floor, you can only have one guy who absolutely can't score playing. It gives them a very good spot-up shooter in the Zerb, and a reasonable defensive presence in Wallace that can cover for the fact that Wally can't defend anyone. It also makes them, IMO, a much more dangerous team in the East, and might make them the favorites over the big three of Detroit, Boston and Orlando in a second-round playoff matchup... because it gives LeBron all of the proof he needs that his GM is watching the same games he's been playing in.

Now, that doesn't mean the Cavs are a shoo-in to make it back to the Finals as the Team That Should Lose, because they've only got 30 games to figure out how to play with each other, and that's probably not enough time. But it sure makes them a hell of a lot more interesting than they were on Wednesday, and for next year as well.

Seattle, on the other hand, cleared cap space from a guy that did them no good (Wally) and a reasonable guard that was in a logjam for minutes with Ridnour and Watson (West). It also probably gives them some nice wiggle room with expiring contracts, since no one in their right mind wants Donyell Marshall for the long run on their roster. The only problem with this plan is that freeing up cap space for a team that's moving to Oklahoma City is kind of like putting in a really nice wet bar in a bomb shelter; you're still not going to be attracting the really high-class snatch. But on principle at least, it's the right move, and it gives Seattle's front office personnel something nice to put on their resumes later, when they want to go to a real NBA franchise.

Now, what did Chicago get, other than clearing minutes for Ty Thomas and Yannick Noah? The previously mentioned 37% non-point point guard in Hughes. A power forward that has been part of every trade rumor for the past five years in the league -- I'm guessing there are reasons for that behind the boneheaded play on the court. (This assumes, of course, that they are actually going to play the guys they dealt for, rather than just bench them and completely poison the atmosphere around this team.)

How exactly does this fix the Bulls' problems -- which is to say, questionable low post presence and point guard play on offense, and worrisome team chemistry? Gooden and Hughes have been on a million teams in their time in the league. Those are the guys that you want to bring into a team of young and previously unselfish hustle players? I know that Big Ben wasn't working out for you, but was this really the price you had to pay to get rid of him?

For many years, the Bulls appeared to have A Plan. They were going to stockpile hustle guys, pressure teams into mistakes, and hope that one of their young players -- Deng or Gordon, primarily -- became the kind of guy that could carry them in crunch time in a playoff. It might not have been the most feasible way to a championship, but at least it made for entertaining ball, and made them the constant source of speculation whenever a team had a game-changing superstar that was thinking of forcing a trade.

Now? I have no idea what they are, or what they are trying to accomplish. And neither do they.

Two of three teams won this trade, and one of them did so by a lot. The last destroyed the team to rid themselves of one player and contract. But that's life in the NBA -- the bad signings destroy you.

Befuddling NBA Free Agent Signings

This post is in honor of the Phillies player with perhaps the best nickname ever in the history of the franchise, Pearce "What's The Use" Chiles. (Hat tip, Ron Schuler's Parlor Tricks, a fine blog for people who like old-time baseball criminals. I eat that stuff with a fork.)

Past NBA posts in this off-season have stressed the idea that NBA General Managers are captivated by brand name players -- to wit, that they'll overpay for a known quantity, rather than roll the dice with a younger, cheaper energy guy. Or that they'll just break the bank for role players, then wonder where the cap money went.

As a Sixers fan, we can just call these the Kevin Ollie All-Stars -- scrubs that no one would ever win with, without any real promise for the future... and yet they're getting contracts. Because in the NBA, Players Nine Through Twelve are all about getting along. Pearce Chiles will have more to do with whether these teams win or lose than these guys.

Here's the list that I'm sure will grow soon...

Bulls sign Joe Smith. I guess he's here to teach Ty Thomas and Joakim Noah. Funny, I thought that was the job of, um, coaches.

Mavs resign Devean George. 2000 was a long time ago, and he wasn't good then, either.

Denver signs Chucky Atkins. Because old point guards are kind of like old left-handed relievers in baseball -- you can be crappy for a long time before everyone finally gets wind and stop paying you.

Indy signs Kareem Rush. Well, sure. Devean George not being available and all.

Milwaukee signs Jake Voskuhl. Well, he'll give them more than Yi. Can they sign Jake Tsakalidis as well, so they can do the whole identical twin tag team and befuddle the refs? I'm still waiting for someone to get the Collins brothers back together and try this.

Phoenix signs Sean Marks. This one makes sense, actually -- it helps them corner that all important Australia / New Zealand fan base.

Utah signs Jason Hart. This hurts me, as a fellow 'Cuse man, but Jason my man... you are the new Rick Brunson. Rent, don't buy.

Obsolete NBA Free Agent Reactions

> Bulls GM John Paxson vowed to match any free agent offer for Andres Nocioni, and then paid him $38 million for 5 years.

Independent of the merits of Nocioni, this, frankly, is part of what gets NBA teams into such terrible trouble on contracts -- the idea that if you don't spent what the market demands for your free agent, you're less than manly or letting the team down.

(As for Andres himself, he looks like the rich man's Victor "Bag of" Khryapa, or the poor man's Luol Deng. It amazes me how many similar player the Bulls stockpile -- it's like they're cloning people.)

Here's a thought -- figure out what the guy is actually worth, percentage-wise, to your team. Then, figure out what happens to your situation if/when you overpay him in a game of who has the bigger nuts.

Frankly, we're thinking that in a year or two, after Ty Thomas emerges as the much less regrettable option in the Noah/Wallace/Thomas logjam for energy defender, and Thabo Sefolosha pulls away in the Duhon/Gordon/Hinrich race of which guard can give up more points than he generates, that Paxson is really going to be wishing he hasn't shelled out so much for Andres.

> Grant Hill signs with the Suns.

Because what Phoenix was clearly missing in that Spurs loss was what... Grant Hill could give them?

Look, I *like* Hill -- 29 surgeries and all, he can play, and he makes his teammates better. And I suppose that, for the salary they got him for, it's fine.

But what does he do that Boris Diaw doesn't do, other than get hurt and be older? How does he help you when Stoudamire and Thomas, the weak points on your team defense and health-wise, break down? Isn't this just the second chapter of the Jalen Rose book that no one wanted to read?

> Jerry Stackhouse signs a 3-year deal to stay with the Mavs.

It's got to be hard to think about leaving the Cube Zone -- the creature comforts, hot and cold running coaches, limited minutes and your summers are more or less free. What's less sensible is why the Mavs were ready to for another three years of a 32-year-old guy and career 41% shooter. (OK, yes, he gets to the line, and last year was better, but 43% isn't exactly write home material.)

However, props to Stack for not moving on to team #5 in a career that was starting to resemble Jalen Rose for a while there. (What can we say, we're soft on Jalen.) The Mavs need to blow that team up something fierce, but at least it looks like Stack will be among the survivors.

> "Sonics' overhaul peaks with Carlesimo hiring" reads the AP headline. Shouldn't we change peaks to ends? This retread gets a lot of love among the white media that covers the NBA for getting the Spree Necklace, but what no one ever mentions is that Latrell's little act of attempted coachicide made PJ famous... famous enough to get another job as a retread. Not exactly the ramp-up situation that Kevin Durant needed here.

> The Pistons resigned Chauncey Billups to a 5 year, $60 million contract, because 31-year-old point guards that get taken apart by rookies in conference finals are clearly worth a long-term commitment.

Once again, we like Chaunce; he's a top 10 PG, and he seemed trustworthy right up until Game 3 of the Cavs series. But we're befuddled by the attraction that NBA GMs have to name brands. And in the big news...

> Orlando signed Rashard Lewis to a max deal (speaking of a guy with an instantly bad contract), which means... THEY ARE OUT OF THE DARKO RACE. Who will step up and get the guy who will never, no matter what people think, be a tenth of the player that Chris Bosh is, but will likely always get ten times the publicity?

This is one of those moments where you learn more about the team... because we're certain that Darko can be an NBA player with the right coach or team, just as we're certain that he's 2 years from being out of the league if the wrong team gets him. (Basically, what is Darko if not Andres Biedrins with better hands?)

For the sake of the legend's millions of ironic fans, here's hoping he chooses well. I'm rooting for him to come back and torture Joe Dumars some more. That's always fun.

In Which The Pistons Are The Snakes, And The Bulls Are Lunch

This is what 19 for 19 at the line from Chauncey Billups and Rip Hamilton looks like, especially in the fourth quarter when you're behind.

Some days, it looks like the Pistons are just playing for drama. Up 3-0, it was all going too easy. So punt a few games, look slow on defense, get lit up at home when everyone expects you to close. Are they too old? Do they want it enough? Is Rasheed Wallace going to explode? Will people keep adding "ess" to the end of Tayshaun Prince's name?

The answers tonight were no, yes, kind of but not really, and ye gads, maybe Prince really is better than Carmelo Anthony or Chris Bosh. (Well, no, not really. But when he's playing the fourth quarter like he did tonight, it's easy to miss that.)

The Pistons advance to another series that they should win fitfully, conserving their energies to whenever it amuses them, but the clock is ticking -- this team could easily fall apart without Billups, who has the option to be a free agent this summer.

As for the Bulls, they may be the future of the Eastern Conference, in that they are the only team in the East that's good and relatively young. Their front office appears to not take a short yellow bus to work, putting them significantly ahead of much of the rest of the conference.

But before we start sucking each other's Pulp Fiction references, let's look at these facts...

1) They have no low post game, and that's been true since Eddy Curry was in town. Now, I understand how Curry could put you off having a low post game, but it's been two years, gents. Turn the page.

2) With Wallace's back hurting, they could not control the glass when they had to tonight. 33 year old backs usually don't get better, especially for a guy with a lot of court time on his body.

3) The Knicks pick might be pretty ordinary, really. (But if they get Durant somehow... good gracious.)

4) Their best player, Luol Deng, is nice and all, but not exactly someone that causes sleepless nights for opponents.

5) Scott Skiles got outcoached in this series... and for a guy that was busting nuts over headbands earlier this year, it's telling that he's soft-pedaling his players showing up late for the game. Check out this (hat tip to the AP):

Chicago's Ben Wallace showed up at the arena about 1 hour, 15 minutes before tipoff -- just as he did before Game 3 -- and Chris Duhon and Gordon were a few minutes late. Players are supposed to be there 90 minutes before the game. Coach Scott Skiles shrugged it off, saying, "It took (general manager John Paxson) well over an hour to get down here."

Sure, Scott, sure. So, do the players have your balls 24/7, or do they give them back to you on off days?

Top 10 Things The Chicago Bulls Are Better Than

“I don’t care who it is, we are better than being swept in four games.” – Bulls center Ben Wallace, after Game Four, in which the Bulls avoided elimination

10. Sleeping with a guy on the first date, just because they really, really, *really* like him

9. The Miami Heat (and, for that matter, the Washington Generals)

8. Taking the bottom bunk – actually, sorry, no, they are probably not better than that

7. Admitting that winning the 0-3 home game in a best of seven series is right up there with getting a “Participant” trophy in the great list of Life Accomplishments

6. Many, many past eras of Bulls basketball (Artis Gilmore! Orlando Woolridge! Jalen Rose! Don’t make us go on!)

5. Ordering from the 99-cent fast food menu, because you just know that shit is really bad for you

4. Realizing that Wallace is a much older and more expensive version of Tyson Chandler before signing him, or that he’s never going to be any better than he is right now (enjoy the remaining 3 years and $45 million of that contract, fans -- Ben is 33 in September)

3. Headbands, headbands, headbands!

2. Putting up with the me-first attitude of team cancers like Elton Brand

1. At least one of the teams that qualified for the playoffs in the Western Conference (but only because T-Mac *never* gets out of the first round)