Fight, Fight, Fight
We know this goes against one of the rules we set down way back in FFT Post #1, but our marketing people had a talk with our editorial people. So here comes the tits.
But not just any tits. We're still on the record as saying that the standard issue cheerleading squad is either
1) an asexual exhibition of painfully trebly music combined with boring or life-threatening gymnastics, or
2) Three vitally important ingredients -- clothing, lubricant, and a pole -- away from Entertainment that's still wildly out of place in daylight and/or public.
So. In any event, it's not going far enough to entertain me, Rabid Sports Fan, despite my hetero-ness.
And why is that? Because there is no conflict. There is no sense of Us vs. Them. There is no home-field advantage, no tension, no drama, no strategy. They're going to shake their breasts and asses to music, and then they're going to stop.
Which is where the Genius comes in. Mad Genius, really.
Why not have a section of the cheerleading squad go rogue, and reveal themselves in the colors of the other team?
Hijinks would ensue. The virtuous cheerleaders (inevitably more blonde, but in the event of fairness and political correctness, I'd argue for a multi-cultural approach for both groups) could then prevail in the kind of entertainment that has packed 'em in at wrestling arenas all over the world.
And then, of course, the spanking. (Both at home and at the stadium.)
Just remember, when you see the Raiderettes clotheslining each other next year to get people in the seats to watch another awful team, where you read this first.
And send me the check, please.
But not just any tits. We're still on the record as saying that the standard issue cheerleading squad is either
1) an asexual exhibition of painfully trebly music combined with boring or life-threatening gymnastics, or
2) Three vitally important ingredients -- clothing, lubricant, and a pole -- away from Entertainment that's still wildly out of place in daylight and/or public.
So. In any event, it's not going far enough to entertain me, Rabid Sports Fan, despite my hetero-ness.
And why is that? Because there is no conflict. There is no sense of Us vs. Them. There is no home-field advantage, no tension, no drama, no strategy. They're going to shake their breasts and asses to music, and then they're going to stop.
Which is where the Genius comes in. Mad Genius, really.
Why not have a section of the cheerleading squad go rogue, and reveal themselves in the colors of the other team?
Hijinks would ensue. The virtuous cheerleaders (inevitably more blonde, but in the event of fairness and political correctness, I'd argue for a multi-cultural approach for both groups) could then prevail in the kind of entertainment that has packed 'em in at wrestling arenas all over the world.
And then, of course, the spanking. (Both at home and at the stadium.)
Just remember, when you see the Raiderettes clotheslining each other next year to get people in the seats to watch another awful team, where you read this first.
And send me the check, please.
2 comments:
Rogue cheerleaders. Isn't that another metaphor for "high-class stripper"?
Nah. The high-class stripper isn't someone you need to give the hatefuck to. The rogue cheerleader that's betraying your team? She needs to be Taught A Lesson. Much more, um, visceral. Yeah, that's it, visceral...
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