Projection Time!

Were you aware... that Jay Cutler is on a pace to throw 48 touchdowns against only 8 interceptions, and to win 8 games on last-minute two-point conversions?

That Brett Favre projects to an 8-8 mark and 45K Jets fans self-monitoring themselves like the parents of a bedwetting 12-year-old, lest they lose their temper and make him quit (and do awful, awful things to the living room set)?

How Tony Romo is due to fix four flat tires after home wins while sporting a similar number of utterly adorable cuts to his chin (they really bring out his dimples!), all while creating 28 points of offense for the opposition from fumbling in his own end zone in an undefeated season?

Yes, I could go on. And might, if I keep seeing remarkably stupid (even for sportswriting) breathless columns from people who, I can only assume, are trying to inflate Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall's fantasy trade value. (Um, look, guys? Just keep him and enjoy. Enough.)

Projections are for sales managers. Or marketing honks who are trying to get budget. *Maybe* they come into play, I don't know, around Week 9.

September, as much fun as it is? Not so much. Why not just, I don't know, watch and enjoy the games that are happening, or try to work out keys to next week's game, rather than continue to live in an Excel spreadsheet. From one nerd to another... step away from the computer and try to come up with something (anything) that's more original.

Like, I don't know, a Favre joke or something.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled wanking, which is already in progress.