Oh Hell, Don Yell

In one of those breathless e-mails that always make me feel vaguely sad for the PR intern that had to write it, the Sixers announced today that they've signed Donyell Marshall, because he was too soft to get a Euro offer.

No, wait, it's because the seventh team in fourteen years (really, seven and fourteen? I'm old and so is he) is going to be the charm for the "perimeter threat with playoff experience."

But hey, he was from here originally, so it's a feel-good story, right?

Um, no.

Let's just call Donny Badball for what he is: a bench guy with questionable heart, who takes a ton of threes when given any opportunity. Since he's big and not especially good at it, he's always open, so his offensive game mostly consists of floating in space, spotting up and missing. He's Robert Horry without the defense and smarts, or Antoine Walker without the low-post moves and court vision. In other words, nothing you really want on your team.

If the Sixers use him for 8 to 15 minutes a game as a garbage man / designated fouler / three-point specialist, he might stick on the roster all year and give them a trace of value. Heck, maybe he even wins them a game or two; it's not like the team is lousy with guys with confidence (justified or not) from beyond the arc.

But if he actually gets significant burn due to injury or insanity, he'll put up his usual poor man's multi-cat numbers... while aiding and abetting the breakout game of anyone who is facing him on offense.

Oh, and that vaunted playoff experience? In 41 games under the big lights, he give you 7.3 and 4.5 board in 21 minutes per game (or, well, remarkably worse than even his previous levels of eh). That's playoff experience you can believe in, my friends!

Hopefully, they don't think he's more than situational minutes and big man fouls to give, because other than that, he's got nothing. Oh, and if Mo Cheeks somehow decides he needs Donny's Veteran Savvy instead of minutes to Thaddeus Young, he should be hung and strung. (Let's just say that I have some cause for worry.)