The Raiders Need An Intervention

I'm going to try to speak delicately here, because Lord knows there just isn't enough of that in Blogfrica, and after taking some shots at Vince Young last week, I'm still a little gunshy. (Did you know that criticizing VY meant you were a racist? I didn't either. The dear fellow will be safe from me for the rest of his life, especially as it looks like that might not be long or involve a lot of football. Anyway, moving on...)

Word out of Oakland is that despite today's physical thumping of the I-AA Chiefs, Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin might be looking for work in the morning.

Given that the team now resembles an NFL football team at times, and has a genuinely exciting rookie in running back Darren McFadden (164 yards today), you might think this, um, makes not a whit of sense.

You would also not have been paying attention to most of the last decade of Raider Football.

Al Davis runs this franchise, as he has for damn nearly its entire existence. He will also be 80 years old on July 4 of next year. Now, I can respect the desire of a man to spend his golden years trying to make everyone around him long for death's sweet embrace first; it's a perverse kind of game, but you have to respect it.

However, it might be nice if it were backed up with any kind, of, you know, plan.

The Raiders have spent most of the decade trying to win with quarterbacks that look like they are big enough to withstand any pass rush, and throw the ball through a car wash without it getting wet. (This would describe Andrew Walter and Jemarcus Russell.)

When that hasn't worked, since most of these guys have been unable to evade any kind of pass rush, they've gone for scamper types like Josh McNown or Marques Tuiasosopo... rather than have, say, a Rich Gannon type that might be able to, you know, complete the ball accurately and resemble something that another team might hire.

They've bought and overbought on speed wideouts that can't actually play. James Jett was the prototype, and he's been duplicated with Drew Carter and Javon Walker. Needless to say, no one is making anyone forget Tim Brown. Or even the later years of Jerry Rice.

Since losing the Super Bowl to prodigal son Jon Gruden, the Raiders have gone 18-62 (!). This, despite having the draft picks that the Bucs gave up to get Gruden, not to mention the high picks the Raiders earned on their own with their spectacular craptitude.

And rather than give Kiffin the keys to the car, they are going to decide to turn back the clock and try the same old thing with Al.

Now, honestly, Raider folks... we have the technology to make this all much better. Just confine Al to a few places -- you know, for his safety, since those NFL bastards are clearly trying to have him killed -- where you can manage the screens he watches. Let "The Truman Show" be your guide, and have him spend his last few years thinking the Raiders are still an NFL franchise.

Meanwhile, you can actually pick players that resemble guys who can succeed in the NFL, and the NFL can have 32 teams that operate in reality. Everybody wins!