Thursday, February 4, 2010

Top 10 takeaways from Plaxico Burress's jailhouse interview

10) Despite the presence of himself, Jeremy Shockey, Tiki Barber and others, the Giants are a stand up organization

9) When you look Bill Cowher in the eye, he melts like a little girl

8) NFL teams have nothing better to do than give injury and self-shooting-prone 34-year-old convicted felons every possible comeback opportunity

7) Working out four times a week in a prison gym while eating starch-happy fat and dumb food is more than enough to keep you in NFL shape

6) If you are concerned for your own personal safety, of course you will put an unlicensed and loaded handgun into your sweat pants, with the safety off

5) Failing to report the incident to the authorities does not, in any way, show a greater and more troubling pattern of not taking responsibility for your actions

4) Coach Belichick's systematic and personal revenge against everyone involved in the Perfectriot loss is vast and terrible

3) The media really isn't into covering a Super Bowl without dirtbags

2) CBS apparently still has its own pregame chucklefest panel show, and it's adorable, the way they keep trying

1) This whole ugly incident could have been avoided if Plax had simply been the world's first black Lynyrd Skynyrd fan

3 comments:

Tracer Bullet said...

Let's be fair. Barber and Shockey come off as pricks, but they've never been accused of a crime (if passing out drunk at a hotel pool in Las Vegas is wrong, I don't want to be right). Plax is orders of magnitude from those guys.

DMtShooter said...

Why, exactly, are we being fair? Please read the blog's mission statement again.

Tracer Bullet said...

Ah. Good point. Screw those ass-clowns.

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