Top 10 comments that have never been made on a sports blog

Ah, the aftermath of a big traffic day on the blog (the psychosis piece got picked up by SI, leading to offended bipolar Red Sox Fans, while others cried foul over the Winter Games slam), when your cheap, mean, unfair, tasteless and biased sports blogging gets read by people who, well, don't read the blog normally.

It inspires a man -- well, OK, this one -- to list! And after over three years and nearly 2,500 posts of this stuff, I can say that I've never seen the following on this or any other board...

10) "I found a small error in this, but it seemed really petty to point it out, seeing how the post wasn't really about that."

9) "I I started to take offense at what you wrote, but then I realized I was taking life too seriously."

8) "I'm glad that you got linked from a high traffic site, even though I also write for a sports blog."

7) "Even though you took a shot at my favorite laundry, I'm not going to assume that you are a fan of our biggest rival, because the odds are actually pretty good that you aren't."

6) "Once you read this angry comment, you will be so filled with remorse that you will immediately cease writing forever and ever. I will not return to read your response."

5) "Filling my reply to your post with profanities and CAPS LOCK SCREAMING is a productive use of both of our time."

4) "In no way am I seeking your attention or acknowledgment. I'm just writing for the illumination of others."

3) "I'd like to characterize you as emotionally stunted, overweight and living in your mother's basement, but then I realized that I was resorting to a pointless and inaccurate cliche about bloggers that said much more about me than you."

2) "I was tempted to add a pointless spam link here, but then I realized that no one ever clicks on those."

1) "Last."