Top 12 reasons why Marcus Camby is upset about being dealt to Portland

12) Finally annoyed with trades now that he's on Team Number Five for his career

11) Scared that by moving to a colder and wetter climate, his rickets will return

10) Knows that he can't compete with Greg Oden, um, where it matters (image search mercifully skipped)

9) Had money in Vulcan Ventures. or anything else post-Microsoft that Trail Blazer owner and incredible fish Paul Allen has touched

8) Tired of following the Bill Walton career arc, since the next stop is UCLA

7) Liked having his Aprils guaranteed free of basketball

6) Was the last man in the NBA to think highly of Baron Davis' game

5) Had a special bond with Clipper owner Donald Sterling, in that he too wishes one day to be a racist slumlord

4) Might have to sacrifice his geeky basketball numbers for winning

3) Will miss the unintentional comedy of Chris Kaman, and the fact that the Clips were the only team in hoop to think he was a power forward

2) Has been a Clipper for 17 months, and you just can't say goodbye to those kinds of memories quickly

1) Hates the idea of being on a team where other people also play defense