Top 11 Reasons Why The Bears Hired Mike Martz

11) Just had to be more like Detroit

10) Because when they look at Jay Cutler, they see a very middle-aged Jon Kitna

9) No one else with any kind of name recognition would take, or even be interviewed for, the job

8) Gives them an excellent in-house candidate to make Lovie Smith good and paranoid when he's at the .500 mark after eight games

7) Matt Forte's fantasy owners have not suffered enough

6) Want to make sure that after Smith and Martz are gone, that the franchise *reallly* stinks

5) It should add a certain amount of spice to any future matchups against alumni Mike Singletary and his Niners

4) Will give them the inside track on the free agent bidding for J.T. O'Sullivan

3) Because nothing quite says offensive innovation in 2010 more than 7-step drops and the QB holding the ball for a real long time, and a 3-to-1 pass-run ratio

2) Martz was very sincere and convincing when he told the Bears about how he's a Super Genius

1) Allows the Bears the best chance to entice Kurt Warner out of retirement to cuckold Cutler