NESW Drop: The Enemies List Presents: Top 5 Zombie Sports Franchises

This week's work for NESW solves a very big mystery for Sixer Fans like myself; what does Willie Green have to do to stop being on the team? And the answer is much more complicated than his meager statistics, the fact that he's clearly not going to get any better, or the idea that the team would be much better off in the long run seeing what they had with big minutes for Jrue Holliday.

No, it's much easier to understand when you get the fact that Green is actually a remarkably effective zombie, who has managed to infect the organization and coaching staff with his slow intellect and lurching madness. Now, if they could only embrace Green's nature and tailor their marketing to him, perhaps they'd attract a hipster element to the low camp quality of the team. Imagine the home court advantage of hundreds of moaning faux Zombies, maybe even in make up, gnawing on Ren Faire-ish meat on sticks during the game? That would have to intimidate someone, right? Or at least give them a chance to stop the Cavs, since the team would be distracted from Shaquille O'Neal trying to take advantage of the available protein? I don't ask for much, really. Just someone showing some evidence of BRRRRAAAIIINNNNSSSS....