Top 10 reasons why figure skaters cry

10) Required to avoid 10% deduction in scores from abusive judges (which is to say, all judges)

9) The Kiss And Cry Corral is routinely sprayed with pepper spray and ice dancer musk

8) Someone's mom died recently, and you're just an awful, potentially biploar person for getting a list out of it

7) Everyone involved has watched NBC's coverage at some point

6) Binge drinkers and recovering meth addicts, one and all

5) Can't deal with a future without crushing stage fright, pre-dawn wake up calls and borderline anorexia

4) Finally saw themselves on camera and realized the depths of the joke that is that outfit

3) These are so totally the wrong flowers

2) Side effect when steroids mixes with Botox

1) The knowledge that the rest of your life isn't going to match up to this, and this wasn't very good, either