Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Top 10 reasons why I'm still not watching the Winter Olympics

10) After the biggest snowfall in the history of the place where I live, watching more snow on TV just doesn't cut it

9) Don't want to expose my children to soft-core pornography (aka, figure skating) at an impressionable age

8) Hockey teams based on where your parents schtupped makes even less sense to me than hockey teams based on the free market

7) Now that we've found out that someone can die from luge, all of the mystery is gone

6) Flashback memories of my time in the Russian Army fighting the Finns ruins the biathlon

5) Can't shake the feeling that ski jumping is just how Nords commute

4) Get enough sweeping on my own without needing to watch curling

3) Too busy preparing for my fantasy baseball draft to get all-important Nerdier Than Thou points

2) Won't watch short track racing until roller derby is also a Summer Olympic sport

1) Even once every four years is too often to watch this

5 comments:

Jester said...

your a douche bag..... just because there is freedom of the press doesn't mean that you can say stupid things w/o being called out on it. if you can't see the amount of preparation and dedication that goes into even thinking of competing in the olympic games, then i feel sorry for you. and if you cant appreciate the level of competitiveness.... then don't watch!!!!! ps you absolutely right about the figure skaters.... can we get them something decent to wear!

Jester said...

of course your not gonna publish that i hurt your feelings ;-)

CMJDad said...

Ohhh, Jester called you a douche bag! Potty Mouth! Hey Jester, the Olympics are a HUGE fraud and waste of time/money. Now, go fuck yourself.

Jester said...

wow, nothing like gettin ribbed by the 12 year old in kentucky. thanks cmjdad, way to set an example.

CMJDad said...

a 12 year old in Kentucky? Really? Is that the best you've got? Come on Jester, grow some stones.