Top 5 destinations for Matt Leinart

With the Cardinals turning the page to the immortal Derek Anderson, it looks like it's time to say goodbye to the trustarian Heisman winner. What are the most likely next destinations for the lefty tool with all of the tools?

5) Minnesota. What, you think they are ever going to give the keys to Tarvaris Jackson? That ship sailed years ago, if a garbage scow a ship, and if you can call sailing the act of sitting still in your own reek. Leinart would come cheap, make for reasonable Favre Retirement Insurance, look good handing off to Adrian Peterson and throwing bubble screens to Percy Harvin, and prevent Viking Fan from drinking himself to death before Thanksgiving. The rest of the winter is still up for debate, but you take what you can get.

4) Oakland. Well, why not? He's almost the second coming of Todd Marinovich in every way, and it's not like this franchise turns its nose up at head case talent in the most important position. Plus, you'd get the bonus of cuckolding league average guys in Jason Campell and Bruce Gradkowski, both of whom desperately need confidence if they are going to make the collection of track star not receivers actually work. There's a reason why this franchise is a laughingstock, but at least Leinart would keep the laughs coming.

3) Buffalo. What better way to not fill the seats than to bring in a big name washout to go with the collection of no name washouts already flailing in upstate New York? Perhaps Leinart's USC pedigree will get Bills Fan to remember the halcyon days of Rob Johnson, who also took terrible sacks, got hurt, and lost his job to an unlikely borderline Hall of Fame candidate. It's not like it would be any worse than Captain Checkdown Trent Edwards, Hahvahd's Own Ryan Fitzpatrick, or Louisville Was A Long Time Ago Brian Brohm. Besides, that Terrible Owens thing worked out so well for them, what's another party guy gonna hurt?

2) New York Giants. Well, this one at least makes an iota of sense, seeing how the G Men are going to go to war with eternal Manning Family Clipboard Man Jim Sorgi on the shelf, and the unknown Rhett Bomar just a heartbeat away from the lead role in Blue Nation. If Leinart were to come here, it would make NYC an All-USC QB town, which would please all of the New York division rivals. Isn't Jared Lorenzon available? Just check the donut shops and ice cream parlors...

1) Jacksonville. Ooh, now we're actually getting into the possible. The Jaguars have to be getting tired of the David Garrard show, know they've got nothing even remotely exciting in Luke McCown, and could be packing the helmets and gear up for LA at any possible moment. The City of Angels is the only place in America that still thinks highly of the trustarian, so why not bring him in on the cheap in advance of a franchise move, and fill the TBD stadium (eh, just play at the Rose Bowl) with hangover enthusiasts? It's just so crazy, it might happen.