Top 25 MNF Takeaways

Why 25? Because they scheduled two games, and for once, the second one didn't involve the Raiders, or suck, or make me feel stupid for staying up to watch it. (Besides, it gave me an excuse to bring in Norv's Daughter Poon for the big traffic boost.)

Thank you, NFL, thank you. Now if we could just get the Lions off Thanksgiving...

25) Ray Rice really needs to learn how to play nicer in pre-game

24) As the women in his life can attest, Antonio Cromartie giveth, and Antonio Cromartie taketh away

23) If Joe Flacco doesn't learn to sense incoming pressure better, he's going to spend his '30s eating paste

22) In the time it took you to read this, the Jets have been flagged for another penalty

21) If Shonn Greene's fantasy owners don't have their heads in the oven by now, they just don't want it enough

20) Either the Kansas City punt returners are unbelievably good, or the Charger punt return teams are just unbelievably horrible

19) The Jets had the fewest first downs in team history, which given that the team history includes Richard Todd, Ken O'Brien and Neil O'Donnell, is kind of saying something

18) Darren Sproles might be the most overrated player in the league now, assuming that isn't Mark Sanchez

17) If Tony Dungy didn't like Rex Ryan's profanity before, he really won't like it after 14 penalties and six total first downs

16) After many years of dedicated effort, Norv Turner may have finally ruined the Chargers

15) It turns out that Kansas City is still allowed to have a home-field advantage

14) This Anquan Boldin guy seems to fit in quite well in Baltimore

13) Proving that the NFL does not care about the Midwest, the Chief fans got Train at halftime

12) In a shocking development, someone in a Todd Heap throwback jersey looked healthy, athletic, and an overall asset to the team

11) Listening to the prayers of millions, the World Wide Lemur chose to avoid the Mike and Mike coverage of the late game, which should not be meant as an endorsement of Trent Dilfer

10) The only way you could know how Philip Rivers' day is going is by having functioning eyes, ears, or nostrils

9) There is no truth to the rumor that Malcolm Floyd joined the witness protection program for the first three quarters of this game, since that would have given him too high of a public profile

8) No one in the history of the league gets more credit for not making a tackle than Ray Lewis

7) Seriously, someone needs to give Rivers a time out, some Ritalin, a mirror, footage of his act, psychological counseling or some business time with a switch

6) After watching his blocking in this game, the Jets should cut Tony Richardson's salary some more

5) The Chiefs won a game over the division champions with a QB that threw for 32 yards in their first 40+ minutes and 68 yards overall, with one third down conversion in the first three quarters

4) With seven minutes to go and down seven, Norvalicious went for it on 4th and 9, rather than trust Nate Kaeding from 50 yards in the rain, which tells us all that Norv thought this was a playoff game, which meant Kaeding was worthless

3) So much for the Chargers not missing Vincent Jackson and Ryan McNeil

2) The Charger targets and scheme was so weak that even with a triple team on Antonio Gates on the final play, there was still no one open

1) When you throw it with as much rainbow action as Rivers does, a hard rain is really not your friend