Top 10 trade destinations for Kevin Kolb

This isn't taking long at all, is it? You'd have though that the man did something untoward. Or that the NFL is filled with the same kind of vulture dynamic that you find in your fantasy league.

Let's get this out of the way quickly: there is little real chance that the Eagles would move Kolb in the regular season. Trades don't generally happen very often in the NFL for the simple reason that organizations are control freaks, and coaches don't generally go for brand new situations with players that they do not know. Michael Vick is always an injury risk, Kolb's value isn't exactly at high tide right now, and with the NFC East in what appears to be a weakened state, there's no way Andy Reid and Co. are going to war with Mike Kafka as the #2 man.

But then again, I never thought the man would have reversed course on The Face of The Franchise in 24 hours, either. We're well beyond the usual event horizon in the dotage of Reid.

So let's round up the usual suspects and see what's possible...

10) Dallas. What, you are not enamoured of the Eagles filling the QB depth chart of every divisional rival? Cowboy Kolb is an extreme long shot, which is why the Cowbots are ranked 10th, but hear me out. Kolb is originally from Texas, and if this year's Cowboys continue to fumble and stumble despite a surplus of offensive weapons, maybe Jerruh Jones takes out his terrible wrath on everyone... even that star-shtupping, beret-loving, Cabo-going QB, Tony Romo.

Impossible? Not particularly. While Romo has the big PR, he's currently 17th in the NFL in QB ranking, behind people like David Garrard and Chad Henne. He might actually be, you know, not that great. Even in the non-playoffs. And if the Cowboys don't make it, mostly due to the failures of an offense that has plus wideouts, tight ends and running backs?

Well, stranger things have happened. Such as Romo getting the gig in the first place, given his low pedigree...

9) San Francisco. To say that the Bay Area has issues at QB is to understate the case to the point where you could have, well, issues. Smith won't be the worst #1 draftee ever -- JaMarcus Russell and David Carr have that covered -- but he's clearly seen as the weak link in what should be a glorious return to division dominance for Mike Singletary's bunch of winners. This is made even more likely by the fact that the Niners only have Smith on the hook for one more year of contract. If the Niners somehow don't win the West and a home playoff game, maybe they move for Kolb to replace Smith.

8) Carolina. While I have no doubt that Kolb would get whiplash from going from the most pass-happy club in the league to one that seems to be trying everything to make sure two RBs get full-time touches, you'd have to think he'd be an upgrade here. And since Jimmy Clausen wasn't that high of a pick or that big of a contract, you could easily see Kolb here as part of a spirited QB competition with the Golden Domer. But if this does happen, it will probably go down with the next coach, because Carolina has to be tired of Jon Fox's act by now.

7) Buffalo. Oh, I hate to have to even think of sending anyone to be the QB to this forbidden wasteland of bad football, but people with steelier eyes than mine tell me that the Bills are starting Ryan Fitzpatrick now, and that guy was barely athletic enough for the Ivy League. The Bills have some reasonable defensive secondary guys that could come over in a deal, and if we've learned anything about the league by now, it's this: you can never have enough DBs who can cover. Failing that, any pick from the Bills comes very early in the round...

6) Cleveland. Yes, I know -- they signed Jake Delhomme for ridiculous money, brought in Mike Holmgren's special pet Seneca Wallace to throw the back-up TAInts, and have prospect Colt McCoy to carry the clipboard for the ManMensas. But what if Holmgren realizes that his QBs, well, stink? Even Delhomme has to know he's stealing money by now. Wallace has never really progressed beyond a fading slash prospect. This team still needs wideouts even more than QBs, but Kolb would at least give the town some hope, and that line would keep him relatively clean.

5) Oakland. With the Jason Campbell Era already looking to be over, Al Davis has to be setting his wandering and barely functioning eye to new personnel, and Kolb has the kind of accuracy that could make even hands-free track stars look like wideouts. He'd fail here, of course, because this franchise is doomed to double-digit loss years for as long as Davis is alive... but it's not as if the NFL doesn't have turnaround years for even terrible franchises. Eventually.

4) Cincinnati. A bit of a shock to see the high perceived star power of Carson Palmer on this list, but anyone who has watched the Bengals play for the last year and a half knows that the former Pro Bowler is now the weakest link. If Cincy has another year like the last one -- a playoff team done in by its lack of an effective passing game, despite what seems to be a credible line and weapons -- maybe they start thinking about turning the page with someone new. So long as they don't send over Terrible Owens in trade...

3) Kansas City. There may be no player in the NFL -- and perhaps the history of the NFL -- who is more overpaid than Matt Cassel. (Six years, $62.7 million, signed a little over a year ago. No, seriously.) In watching him this year, he just seems indecisive with the ball and his movements, lacking in arm strength and the owner of questionable decisons. And the Chiefs are downright frisky now, with a strong running game, solid special teams and an emerging defense. Currently, we know one thing for certain, and that is that if you drafted Dwayne Bowe or Dexter McCluster in your roto league, Cassel is killing you. And soon enough, the Chiefs.

2) Arizona. The most obvious QB hole in the league right now, and a need that is so dire that you'd have to think that they might make such an over the top offer as to overwhelm even the usually cautious Eagles in mid-season. Arizona has no chance -- none -- of winning the division again with Derek Anderson or rookie QB Max Hall, and anyone with eyes can see that. With WRs Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston, they have some of the elements that made them explosive and a Super Bowl participant not so very long ago... but only with an accurate trigger man at the helm. The run-first offense that was prepared can't work when the QB is no threat. Of any team where Kolb could go to, Arizona might make the most difference in 2010.

1) Minnesota. And then there's Brad. The 2010 work of Brett Favre has looked for all the world like the last days of a hostage situation, and while the Vikings head coach might profess his undying affection for Tarvaris Jacson, it's hardly a move that the fan base will accept, or that anyone with eyes will welcome. Kolb would make a lot of sense here, especially in 2011, when the presumed return to health of WRs Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice would give the Vikings some lightning to go with the thunder of RB Adrian Peterson. And it's not as if Childress is adverse to dealing with Reid.

Now, if only they had an offensive line. But then again, if it got too bad, maybe they'd just bench Kolb for a more mobile backup...