NFL Week One: Top 10 Ad Questions
10) Are you allowed to be a female bartender in a beer commercial if you don't have DD breasts and a ball-busting attitude?
9) Has anyone told Ford that truck driving men aren't necessarily thrilled with Denis Leary, or words?
8) If the Bud Light boss is so happy with his employee for turning weekend work into an unproductive beer-fueled frat-style football party, why does he address him menacingly by the last name?
7) Why does Viagra think that breaking down cars and shoddy temporary repair jobs are desirable analogies for their product?
6) Can a $20 class-action payment from Geico to every man, woman and child who watches NFL football be arranged, so that the insurance company can lessen its liability?
5) Does Dodge have any idea how, well, alternative sexuality-friendly it is to call their Charger muscle car a "Man Ship"?
4) Now that Capital One has upped the ante on annoying by going from one Ren Faire Tard to Papa Tard and Kid Tard That Says Everything Papa Tard says, does that mean their card is twice as hateful, or is it more like a hundred?
3) Shouldn't the angry sandwich vendor in the Taco Bell commercials just wait 20 minutes for her customers to have debilitating diarrhea, so that her attack is more effective?
2) If every Toyota really has a story, is it asking too much that any of them be interesting, or a reason why I might also want to buy one?
1) How do taser attacks by police help sell a service that puts fantasy football statistics on a television screen?
3 comments:
Also: what is the point of an aluminum beer bottle? To make your bottled beer taste more like canned? Or to keep it from staying cold for as long as it would in glass?
Caveat: I don't drink beer. Having said that...
1) Beer cools faster in cans, and is likely to stay cold. I'm told that the enemy is heat in the process to your door.
2) From an eco standpoint, metal recycles easier and with less energy to use. It's also lighter to ship.
3) The amount of beer that's in contact with the metal is miniscule. That metal taste is from the fact that you are drinking it from a can. Pour it into a cup and/or clean the can before you put your lips to it, and your experience should be better.
If you like beer in a bottle more than beer in a can, it's probably just that you like the beer, more than the conveyance.
We now return you to things that I might actually know something about first hand, rather than from smart-alecky Web post.
That fucking pig in the Geico commercial makes the most abrasive sound I could possibly imagine. I should apologize to the Cavemen for whatever I said about them because they seem positively welcome by comparison.
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