Mr. Tilty's Auction Draft

So here's the results of the auction league. Starred players were keepers; unstarred are the new guys to the roster. And yes, this will be the last of the posts that you could not possibly care about...

QB Matt Ryan ATL 22
RB1 Ryan Grant GB 56 *
RB2 Cedric Benson CIN 16 *
WR1 Anquan Boldin BAL 43 *
WR2 Steve Breaston ARI 7 *
WR3 Malcolm Floyd SD 31
FX C.J. Spiller BUF 34
TE Dallas Clark IND 23 *
DEF Pittsburgh PIT 19
PK Neil Rackers HOU 1
B1 Michael Bush OAK 14
B2 Daren McFadden OAK 14
B3 Terrell Owens CIN 19
B4 Matt Cassel KC 1
B5 Sidney Rice MIN 22

I've kind of been on tilt all weekend for this draft. I tend to get a bit nuts before hosting people on principle, in that I've got a fairly advanced case of OCD. So I was already well on my way to arrange for a ton of furniture arrangement, cleaning, getting three kinds of junk food (BBQ, pizza and fresh soft pretzels), working out a remote drafting solution for owners in Louisiana and Ghana, respectively, and that was before one of the owners auto-ejected, just a day before the draft.

Finding a replacement owner for football usually isn't that big of a problem. I run a good league, nearly every fantasy player goes for football, and if I do say so myself, I run a good league. But to find a guy to join a $50 league, auction and keeper, with slightly idiosyncratic rules and at a time when everyone who wants a team already has one... well, that's pushing it a bit. A lot, actually.

So I pretty much pushed every button I had -- Facebook, Twitter, poker players, guys in my other leagues, relatives, friends, etc. Dropping to 11 teams wasn't attractive, since everyone prepped for 12 teams, and it's not a terribly deep league as is. I thought I had a replacement at 2:30pm, only to get on the train and get his reconsideration bail email at 6:30. Another owner and I more or less wet-nursed a second replacement guy into it, and that was that.

Or, well, not. The morning was spent in traffic and waiting for food that had been previously ordered. I got back to the Man Space about 15 minutes later than I wanted, then had trouble with the conference call and software. The wifi then failed for the incoming owners, causing more stress and grousing. Then I got to draft. And get poached, and poached.

The single-round elimination auction is set up to reward position and patience, assuming you can find value and not be right between guys that have similar rankings. I wanted to skimp on QB -- in a 12 team, 15 round league there is usually someone playable on the wire, and I didn't want to pay top dollar there -- and go hard after a couple of skill players. Specifically, Arian Foster and Pierre Garcon, who had the dull benefit of being on the rise and in a strong scoring situation.

Foster, I nominated. And got popped to $55, one of the higher values to date, by last year's champion. Taking him would have meant trying up a third of my available cap early in the draft. Leaving him would mean that the champ had little market cap for the rest of the draft. So I let him go, and probably will regret it all year. Unless he fumbles and loses the gig, or gets hurt. Here's hoping.

The next big bet was on Garcon. I think the world of him; I owned Reggie Wayne for the second half of last year, and it wasn't a good experience. I think he puts up Wayne-esque numbers this year, and that he's the guy who will be the new explosive outside force for Peyton Manning. He got nominated by a player who had been folding on big bets all day, and he was the last big ticket on the board that I really wanted. So I popped it $45, a bet that got more or less ridiculed by a half dozen owners passing in disgust after me... but not the guy who nominated him. He went for $46.

Later on, needing a QB and getting antsy, Kevin Kolb get nominated. And I pop it again, to more than the team that nominated him can match, with the hope that the single owner that can take him from me won't go hard for a QB when he's already got Joe Flacco for cheap... but nope, that doesn't work, either. Just shoot me.

So well, that's kind of why I wind up with two Raider running backs, the Chiefs QB and Terrible Owens. And I don't even feel all that bad about it. If Sidney Rice comes back and is a #1 WR, I've got something great. I've doubled up now on CJ Spiller and the Pittsburgh defense, both of whom I feeel pretty good about. The Raiders and Chiefs play against terrible teams, so it's not as if Michael Bush, Darren McFadden and Matt Cassel have to be actually good at their jobs to put up numbers. I like Terrible's chances to be a solid #3 this year, and I think his noxiousness has finally gotten him to the point where he could be a value.

And finally, there's this. If you add up the values of all of the guys on my team, you'll discover that the math isn't right; I overdrafted the value by subtracting Ryan from the wrong place. What with everything that went on today, I missed it, and so did everyone else in the room.

So if this team sucks -- and oh, sweet heavnes, it might -- I have every excuses. Lo, I have excuses. And who could ask for anything more?