Celtics-Magic Game Five: Does God Love Us This Much?

A story on the Lemur this afternoon is that the Magic's Rashard Lewis has been playing with a viral infection, and fighting through nausea and weakness. So maybe he's not just, you know, a wildly overpaid and overrated basketball player, but an ill and overpaid and overrated basketball player. But the real problem with this as an excuse is that the length of time before games should have given the Magic enough time to cure anything, with the possible exception of old age. What the hell is wrong with their training staff?

In the first, Dwight Howard is dunking the ball and blocking shots, Vince Carter hits a three, Jameer Nelson does as well... and the Magic still trail, because they aren't taking care of the ball. But the Cs pick up two fouls on Garnett and Rondo quickly, and the Lemur praises Doc Rivers for leaving Rondo in. Considering that Jeff van Gundy praised the now-unemployed Mike Brown for putting Shaquille O'Neal on Garnett last series, you'd be wise to pull Rondo, Doc...

Paul Pierce hits his second three for a 19-17 Celtic lead, and the road team is 3-for-3 from the arc... but Matt Barnes answers from the arc, and does it again later in the quarter as the Magic bench looks good. Body language is all for the home team, Marcin Gortat is active, and they are even making their free throws... but Ray Allen scores and collects a Reddick foul on the final Celtic possession, and ye gads, he's just killing them. The Magic lead, 31-27, and I bail to put the kids to bed.

In the second, the Magic stretch the lead to 8, with the bench doing more good work, and the Lemur expressing confidence in Orlando all of a sudden. Personally, I think you should be up by more than 8 points when you shoot 60% from the arc, but I just have this history of seeing the Celtics win and all. Kendrick Perkins was ejected for some marginal technicals, and he could wind up missing Game Six for it, too. That sound you heard was Celtic Fan pulling his hair out, though it will probably be rescinded later. How will Sheed manage to play actual minutes?

Rondo opens the third with a layup. Sheed blocks Howard, but Barnes hits a three from the loose ball, and it's a nine point game. A Rondo make is matched by Carter getting to the line for the old school three, and that's Sheed's fourth. Heady! With the make, the lead is 10, and this game is starting to look like it could get away from the Celtics. Allen misses, and Glenn Davis picks up his third on a Nelson flop. Howard with a monstrous alley oop dunk from Nelson, and less than two minutes into the second half, the lead is 12, and Boston looks like they are conserving their energy for Game Six. My, how things can change...

Garnett breaks the run with a jumper. Carter misses on a drive and pop. Rondo draws a Carter foul, and so much for the momentum. Rondo is just 1 of 7 from the line after two misses -- wow -- but Lewis is whistled for a loose ball foul, his fourth, and it saves the possession to boot. Rondo with a make over Nelson, and it's eight again with a fresh turn on the Magic point. Garnett makes again, and the run is 6-0. Carter stops it with a drive and make. Rondo tries something ridiculous and misses. Carter misses the three, but at least he seems like he wants to play a little tonight. Garnett can't make it three in a row. Nelson in transition pushes it back to ten. Pierce goes down in a heap as Howard guillotines him -- no way he could avoid him, given where Pierce put his body -- and the Celtics need his Magic Wheelchair, stat.

After commerce, shockingly, Pierce is ok, and makes both free throws. Opera divas have nothing on Pierce in a playoff game, folks. The lead is eight. Howard rattles in a hook over Davis. Ray Allen can't hit on the move. This just in: when you make Allen move before shooting, he's not so damned deadly. Carter can't make as bodies hit the floor. Barnes is physical on Rondo, sending him to the line again, and he finally makes them, cutting the lead to eight. He's got 17 now, and looks a lot better than Game Four.

Barnes and Gortat turn it; yeesh. Rondo posts Nelson for his third foul, and the Magic can't hide Nelson on defense in this series. Rondo makes two more, and it's a six point game. Davis strips Howard pre-dunk, and Nelson hits from 30 as the clock expires. Wow. Davis connects, and give the Cs credit; they stop momentum with makes like that. Howard ends an ugly possession with a hook make, and van Gundy calls it, correctly, offense by accident. Pierce does everything but sing Carmen for a call and doesn't get it. Nelson in transition gets to the line and makes both, and the lead is 11 again for no good reason.

Garnett drives and finishes against Gortat. Nelson with an airball, but Howard catches it, and Davis takes the foul rather than give up the dunk. That's his fourth, and maybe Howard will just foul out the Celtic front line tonight. Reddick turns it as the refs miss a play, but the Magic don't deserve the ball on that anyway. Rondo picks up a charge on Nelson, and that's his third; nice play by Jameer. Howard turns it on an entry pass as Davis does a nice job. It's a nine point lead with 15 minutes left as we go to commerce, and an odd game, really... Boston doesn't really seem all that interested in winning it, but the Magic isn't really playing all that well, either. Except for the three point shooting.

Rondo with a technical as Joe Crawford is in the zone, really. Reddick makes as the Lemur buries Crawford; someone really need to let them know that this isn't the '90s anymore. The teams trade hoops, Nelson and Allen. Gortat with a good entry to Howard, but Pierce straitjackets him before the flush. The second is good, and the lead is 11.

Sheed with the turn to Jason Williams, who finishes nicely at Rondo. Sheed misses the three, but Orlando can't get the board. Davis misses, but the Cs get another board, and a Gortat foul. Shame; after the Williams steal and make, you really got the sense that Magic Fan was building to something. Sheed makes both as Nate Robinson is in for Rondo, and he's officially someone Celtic Fan does not want to see. Williams overdribbles and misses the three. Gortat takes a cheap one, and Sheed goes back to the line on fouls that the Lemur hates, in that they go against the Celtics. Yes, I'm starting to notice the bias from the New England network... Two Sheed makes, and it's a nine point game. Separation, Fail. Robinson blocks Howard, amazingly, and the Celtics play four on five for 14 seconds as Davis looks concussed. Wow, that was scary; he's like a WWE jobber out there. It turns out that Howard gave him a big-time elbow, another one of those inadvertent shots that's going to make Celtic Fan scream out loud. I'd feel worse for Davis if I haven't seen 1,000 flops before this one, and he stays on the bench as Pierce is erased by Barnes on his usual end of quarter Hero Mode jumper. At the end of three quarters, the Magic lead, 84 to 75.

Davis to the locker room. Lewis on a drive and make, and that looked basketbally. Celtics go small, because they have no other choice. Robinson with a three, and he's played well so far; that's a worry. Lewis picks up Pierce's third, then goes into the post on deep sub Marquis Daniels as Robinson goes for another weak side shot block. What an odd player he is; if he could pass, he might actually be tolerable as a sub. Lewis makes one as the Lemur discloses that Davis has a concussion, and won't return; if he and Perkins are out for Game Six, this becomes Highly Interesting. Daniels turns it on the other end, and limps back. The Cs commit an intentional foul to swap him out for the dessicated remains of Michael Finley, and I'm pretty sure that Antoine Walker is looking at his phone right now. Lewis misses, Gortat boards, Williams misses, and the Cs board. Pietrus fouls Pierce on the other end as the Lemur's cameras find Daniels looking punch drunk. Robinson misses from the arc, then fouls Reddick as he reminds America why he doesn't play. Lewis very aggro in the post, and he scores against Pierce; the lead is 11. Rondo misses, and Lewis clears and cans it from the baseline. The lead is 13, there's nine minutes left, and the Celtics look like their regular season selves all of a sudden. It's beginning to look a lot like a series.

Sheed makes to cut it to 11 and keep it a game. An odd possession ends with an ugly foul by Pierce on Reddick, and that just looks like frustration, and a possible flagrant foul. As Reddick is a Dookie, no call. He makes both, and it's back to 13... and if I were Rivers, I'd be looking hard at pulling Pierce if this game gets out of hand, because he's just looking irresponsible right now. A Sheed 3 is an out of bounds airball, and then he takes his fifth trying to deny Howard. The Orlando center misses both. Pierce drives, but Nelson strips him, and the Celtics are lucky to keep the ball. Allen misses on the move, and the Celtics go to intentional fouls on Howard, but as it's Rondo's fourth, this isn't exactly painless. It's also nauseating basketball that rarely works, and Howard makes the second. Wallace hits a three, and it's 11 as Allen hacks Howard. Seven minutes left, and they could be long. Howard hits both; yay. Daniels is out with a concussion, and Sheed makes another three. No hack this trip, and Nelson answers with the three. Big time. The Cs turn, Carter to Pietrus for the slam, and it's a 15 point game; we could be seeing garbage time very soon. 5:47 left.

Garnett misses; no Howard hack, and Nelson hits the three. This one's over. Sheed with a make inside, and now Sheed is doing the grimacing. A minute later he takes a blocking foul on Nelson to take the most obvious exit this side of a WWE ring, and Nelson makes both for a 19 point game. As badly as the Magic quit in Game Three, the Celtics are equalling the lack of effort here. Sheed to the dressing room for his own M*A*S*H work. Short of a brawl, nothing else of consequence will happen in this game, and the Celtics don't have enough guys on the floor to stage a fight, really. Your final is Magic 113, Celtics 92.

Well, the thing about no one ever coming back from being down 3-0 is... someone has to do it eventually. And while I doubt Perkins will be suspended, it's not as if Daniels and Wallace have to be healthy for Game Six, or that Lewis isn't looking like a basketball player again... or that the Celtics aren't suddenly looking old and frail and without heart. I still doubt that God loves me enough to give me two Boston teams gag up 3-0 playoff leads in the same year... but Hope has definitely entered the room.