Lakers-Suns Game Six: Once More With Dread

I miss the first quarter from kid issues, and it's only the highest scoring quarter of the series. In the second, the Phoenix bench looks good, with Goran Dragic bullying Ron Artest, then Channing Frye doing the same to him on the defensive end. Andrew Bynum turns it on the end line as his nightmare series continues, and we go to commerce with the Lake Show up by 1, 42-41.

After the ads, Bynum fouls Asmundson and appears wronged by life, but the Phoenix bencher misses both. Vujacic with a Stooge turnover in half court, then watches Dragic hit over him. His nemesis answers with a move and make, and Leandro Barbosa can't make on a drive. Bynum stomps through Dudley, then gets rejected by Asmundson, but Frye is whistled for a foul. The makes gives the Lakers a three point lead. Dragic draws a Vujacic foul, and the world so wants these guys to throw down. Stoudemire misses, and he's 1 of 5 so far. Odom feeds Bynum for a stuff, and Dragic misses a three. Farmer hits from the arc, and the Lakers suddenly have an eight point lead and the better bench play. Not exactly encouraging to a seventh game, though I suspect that the Celtics finishing things last night is all of the reason why we aren't going to see that. Sigh.

Stoudemire is erased on a drive, but Kobe misses a kill shot three attempt. Stoudemire with a make, but Artest is now 6 of 9, and his third three pointer. Ouch. When he's hitting, the Lakers really are unbeatable. Bynum gets a foul as Nash draws it; cagey play by the point guard, especially as it gets Nash to the line. Two makes later, the lead is seven, and the home crowd is a little less uneasy. Bryant with a bad bank miss, and the possession ends with Artest stealing it from Frye after finally getting the board. Back-breaker, and Testy might be the best player on the floor right now. Grant Hill blocks Pau Gasol, but Jason Richardson is called on a Derek Fisher flop, and the Phoenix offense is just a mess right now. Odom follows to make it 11, but Frye answers with a corner three. Fisher misses from the top, but Richardson's three is wild and bad, and we go to commerce with the Lakers up 58-50.

Gasol with an easy hook, and the lead is 10 again. Bryant stalks Stoudemire with no awareness, and Phoenix is lucky to keep the ball. Nash to Richardson to net is three points, and Phoenix being down by 7 while hitting nearly half of their three pointers is deadly. Odom drives and gets the old school three on Hill, and the moments where the Phoenix zone defense was giving them trouble are long gone. Odom misses from the line. The Laker defense is lockdown on Nash, and that's another turn. Fisher misses the corner three, and Nash airballs a three in transition as Road Laker Fan chants, and is audible. Bryant hits from 30 feet, and good grief. Richardson's three misses at the horn, and the Lakers have their biggest lead, closing the half with a 23-10 run. It's beginning to look a lot like closeout. Craig Sager is dressed in Laker purple tonight, and he sticks a mic into Testy's grill, hoping for magic. Sadly, no "Say Bensonhurst" moment. The Lakers are not interested in entertaining anyone tonight.

Stoudemire starts the third with a miss. Gasol turns, but the transition three by Richardson stays out. Gasol misses at the end of the clock, and Hill misses on a nice duck-under mid-ranger. Fisher deep in the clock with a make, and it's looking close-outish. Stoudemire misses, but Lopez boards and picks up a foul. The Sun offense is looking terrible right now. Lopez misses in the lane on Bynum pressure. Stoudemire with a steal on the inbounds pass. Nash with a high arc after a long dribble for a make; high effort. Gasol nearly turns it, but Bynum gets the deflection and goes to the line. Two makes pushes it to 14. Nash with a free throw line make. Bryant is patient and makes late in the clock. Frye hits quickly in mid-range. Kobe to Testy, who misses from the arc. Nash again, nice creativity, and it's 11. Bryant gets Richardson in the air and creates contact for the foul. He's got the assassin look to him tonight, and two makes pushes it to 13. Hill on the baseline can't make, but Stoudemire hustles to get another possession as the TBS guys bury him. Hill misses again, and Fisher misses the corner three kill shot. Nash to Stoudemire as Gasol falls, and that's a welcome slam for the big man. Lakers coach Phil Jackson with the immediate timeout to keep Amar'e downcast, and we go to commerce with the Lakers up 11.

Bryant misses a clean look. Stoudemire misses twice inside on good help defense, but he picks up Bynum's fourth foul after an offensive board. Odom in for Bynum as we're halfway through the quarter anyway. Stoudemire makes both, and the lead is nine. Fisher misses, but Testy boards and scores, and he's got 19 now. Yeesh. Stoudemire draws Bryant's first foul, and the Lakers aren't in the penalty yet. Stoudemire misses on a hook. Bryant declines the three and goes inside for a trip to the line, as the Lakers aren't taking the easy way out in this one. He makes both, and Stoudemire has the foul on one end and a travel on the other as the Designated Goat of the Game; he's 3 of 13 now, with only 3 boards.

Bryant misses the heat check three, and Richadson drives and falls heavily for Fisher's fourth foul. Two makes brings it back to 11. A lob from Odom to Gasol is a foul on Stoudemire, who then watches Testy hit his fourth three pointer. Good grief. Stoudemire stays aggressive, and gets to the line for no makes. Woof. Gasol to the line on a Nash foul, his second, and this one is feeling a lot like over. A shame; Phoenix was a lot more fun than this, but the Lakers know how to close. Two makes and it's 16, the largest of the half. Stoudemire can't make from close in, and Gentry needs to go to the bench. Farmar misses, but the o-board is collected, and Testy makes a circus shot over Stoudemire. I'd be very surprised if that wasn't the coup de grace, really.

Footage of Gentry in the timeout shows Nash and Stoudemire not looking very convinced by optimism. Stoudemire with a slam off a screen, and that helps drama. Bryant owns Dudley with mid-range, and he's got 22 now. Barbosa hits a three, and the bench is showing signs of life. Bryant with a ridiculous make, but Barbosa answers. Not sure how you stop Kobe at this point, short of just hitting him. He makes over Frye, and that's insane. Barbosa misses a drive on Odom. Bryant ends the quarter in Super Hero Mode, but Barbosa blocks the pass. The shot clock ends him, so he just steals the inbounds and nearly makes that, too. Ye Gads. Lakers 91, Suns 74.

Sager interviews Gentry, who's looking a little shell-shocked. Odom misses as Gasol hangs on Stoudemire for his third foul. Dragic makes over Vujacic in his personal war, then fouls him in the open court, then takes a technical after a hit and flop. So much for the Sasha Vujacic Career Resurrection, and the Phoenix crowd is suddenly pumped up over Sasha's thuggery. The refs review the play to appreciate Dragic's baitery and acting as Sager goes into the details of the feud; not sure why we're getting delayed here. The call is a flagrant one on Vujacic, and Dragic goes to the line for two free throws and the ball. Two makes cuts the lead to 13, and the trip is worth four points so far. Jackson leaves Vujacic in, and Dragic burns him off the dribble for a layup. Wow. Gasol turns, but Dudley turns it back, and the Lakers fail to convert at the dish. Jackson has seen enough, and goes for Kobe at the next stop. Dragic to the rack like a knife through butter, and that's an 8-0 Dragic Run. Shades of the Spurs game. Farmar stops the magic with a mid-range make at the buzzer. Frye misses a three, and Barbosa airballs one as well, and a camera man is destroyed by Dudley trying to save it. Odd.

Bryant back, but he misses against Dudley. Frye boards. Suns very much alive in the body language, but the Laker defense isn't caving... and Frye makes a tough turnaround. Nine point game. Testy misses a three, but Gasol gets the long board. He can't make over Frye, but the team board goes to LA.

Dudley's cameraman goes out on a stretcher. Yikes. Bryant's straight away three misses, and Odom picks up a cheap foul as well. Stoudemire gives Gasol a beatdown slam, and the lead is 7. Wow. Fisher answers, and he's been huge, then gets a flop foul on Stoudemire, as Amar'e extends a leg like a moron. Fisher is just death to the opponent's momentum. Gasol's tough night continues with a bad miss. Dragic with a nice move in the lane, but he misses. Phoenix with the o-board ends with Stoudemire collecting Odom's fourth foul in the lane. These are critical to cut the lead, and Amar'e gets both to cut it down to seven with 6:37 left.

Bryant misses on good Dudley defense, and Dragic feeds Stoudemire, great look and catch, and the lead is five. Wow. Frye blocks Odom, huge. Frye goes behind the back to Stoudemire, who has to dive to the floor to save it, and he calls time to save the possession. Yet again in this series, it's an unreal comeback against the defending champions, and no matter what happens in the rest of this game, I'm glad the Suns have shown their heart. And there's no way it happens with Vujacic's foul.

Barbosa with a terrible 30-footer at the clock; just an awful possession out of a timeout. Laker turnover. Dragic can't get a three coming back. Bryant at the buzzer, and ye gads. Barbosa with redemption to the rim against Gasol, and it's five again. Bryant misses, but Odom with the o-board; deadly. Fisher with a tough make, and if it seems like I've written that all night, it's because I have. I'm starting to think that the NBA should not have a regular season, since everything you see in it is a lie. Seriously. Fisher just spent the regular season looking like utterly spent. Now, he's great. Frustrating.

Gentry with the starters, and Frye instead of Lopez. Stoudemire gets Gasol's fourth, and if the Lakers lose this game, he's the reason why, along with Vujacic. Amar'e hits both, and the lead is five. The Suns stop Gasol and Odom, but Stoudemire is whistled for an offensive foul on the other end, and that's just an unconscionable call; Gasol hooked Stoudemire into him, then fell down on the contact. Cagey, I suppose; nauseating as well, really. Karmic justice would have been a feed to Stoudemire for a slam over the fallen flopper, but the refs don't see it, and the Lakers will have the ball after commerce. 2:45 left.

Jackson's on Kobe to avoid Hero Mode, and his team to show poise. Fisher misses, and Frye boards. Nash to the rack, easy, and it's a three point game. Bryant with a ludicrous make, and it's five again. Wow. Nash turns, and Kobe goes to the rack for a Frye foul. The Lakes aren't losing, if you look at him, and with two makes, the lead goes back to seven. It's like a steel trap, this guy. Stoudemire gets to the line on a Nash pass, and that's Gasol's fifth, not that this matters. Two makes brings it back to five, but it's hard to see how Phoenix gets stops. Odom off a Bryant pass misses, but Gasol follows for redemption. Stoudemire with a make, but no three point attempts, and the clock is a real problem now. Bryant with an absurd make over Hill at the end of the clock, and he even taps Gentry after the shot to just rub it in. And Laker Fan wonders why people hate Kobe. OK, they don't wonder at all. They just don't care.

As Phoenix Fan beats the traffic -- understandable, though less than what this team deserves -- Stoudemire misses rather than pass out for the three, and Fisher boards and holds to go to the line. This one's over, and the Finals that everyone expected, the one that determines if anything other than Father Time and Mother Injuries can beat the healthy Celtics, is on. It's just my doom to not want to see it, since everyone else seems to want it.

Testy makes one of two, and Nash hits a silly/easy three to make it 5 with 13.2 seconds left, as Gasol gets the blame. If nothing else, Phoenix will not quit. Kobe misses the first to prolong the diary, if nothing else, but makes the second. Nash's three is blocked for an airball, and Bryant snares it with a Frye foul. The final shot is a Stoudemire three that hits the top of the backboard, and your final is Lakers 111, Suns 103. TBS speculates on the future whereabouts of Stoudemire, and how many people were rooting for Nash and Hill to make it to the Finals. But Bryant was too much. Post-game, Bryant tells Sager that he was going to kill Vujacic. I don't think he's kidding.

Game One is next Thursday, and my worst birthday present ever. I will, of course, watch every minute of it, and content myself with the knowledge that one of these fan bases must lose. It's not enough, of course, but it's the burden you bear as a fan of pro hoop, given how this is how the year has ended... 33 freaking times. No, seriously. It's a wonder the league still exists, really.