Cavs-Celtics Game Six: Second Half Diary

I miss the first four minutes of the third quarter for child care, and the less said about that, the better. The less said about Shaq on the line is also similar, as he misses two and prevents a tie, then gets his third foul in failing to block out Perkins on a Pierce miss. At least Shaq gets his money's worth on it by squashing Perkins like a bug. Yeesh. Seemingly energized by the foul, Shaq stays with Garnett on dribbling and forces a tap out. On the next possession, the center collects the deep entry and obvious foul from Perkins, leading to double technicals as Shaq swings the elbows to try to get the shot off. Not a fun time for Perkins. James can't finish but he can board, then gives to Shaq for the slam and tie. Shaq then collects his fourth on a drive by Perkins, preventing the dunk, and Vareajo replaces him before he becomes the entire game.

Perk makes one. James feeling it, feeds Jamison who misses, leading to an awful Garnett miss, and an equally bad Cav possession where Jamison ends with a a miss. Garnett makes over tough Vareajo defense, and honestly, I have no idea what Jamison brings to the Cavs. James gets a deep pass and stops the bleeding with Perkins' fourth foul. Celtic Fan chants something as James makes one of two, and while the MVP is collecting numbers, he's not really impressing people. Two point Celtics lead.

Pierce forces the action and gets Williams' third foul, as the game continues to be Chop E. Pierce makes both, and the Cavs have another terrible possession, ending in Vareajo traveling on scramble. Pierce hits a three, the first of the night for the Celtics, and the lead is seven. The refs don't stop play as Vareajo is bleeding, so the Cavs play 4 on 5, then give up another long deuce for the instant nine point hole. Wow, that showed a remarkable lack of poise all around. Perhaps a signature play for the series, really. Yeesh.

A bad Williams miss, a bad James miss, but the Cs turn it back over in transition, and James scores despite a hard Sheed foul. With the free throw, the lead is back to six, and that stops the bleeding. Sheed opens the wound fresh with a corner three, then James turns it over again, trying to get layups with every pass. Pierce hits another three, and the lead is 12, and suddenly the Cs can't miss from the arc. West collects a foul on Pierce as the Lemur yells at James. Well, OK. West makes both to bring it back to 10.

Vareajo forces another turnover; nice play. James in the block feeds Z for his first make, and Rivers calls time as the gym has gotten quiet again.

Mark Jackson calls James, with 17-12-8, average. Um, you do realize he can't put it in the ocean tonight, right?

Rondo to Sheed at the rack for an easy one, and this must be a big game; Sheed's running all the way to the basket. Williams makes a very useful deuce, and Allen misses, but Z can't control his body enough to get the board. Again, Hickson? Davis gets Vareajo's second foul by being low and fat; terrible call by the ref. One make pushes it back to nine. As the Lemur writes James obit, Tony Allen turns him for his seventh giveaway of the night, then gets to the line in transition. The Cs go with deep bencher Marquis Daniels for Sheed. Allen misses both, but strips Parker at the buzzer for yet another turnover, and at the end of three, it's Celtics 76, Cavs 67.

The MVP has 17/13/8, but isn't shooting well and has a mess of turnovers. The quarter doesn't start any better for him as Rondo gets loose for an easy layup in the half court. Craziness on the other end as Williams misses, then steals it from Davis with hackery, then Vareajo gets the foul... and the road team ruins the hustle with a turnover. Sheesh. Z fouls Rondo to prevent the full run, and the game turns to rugby on both ends, as Davis clearly screams "I Fucked Up!" at his bench. Parker continues the ugliness with a missed free throw, and finally a basketball moment happens as he hits the second. Ten point game.

33 turnovers, 20 by the Cavs. Williams with a loose ball foul, his fourth, and that's trouble, too. Shaq back in, because JJ Hickson has bad breath, or something. Ray Allen misses, James with his 14th board, and then a three. Interesting. Ten minutes left and the crowd quiets. Rondo dribbles for 22 seconds and misses a three, then James hits one from Connecticut. Wow. Drama and actual basketballery!

Commerce, then a bad Cs possession and Sheed three miss. James to Vareajo down low, but he can't finish, and it leads to Rondo for early offense and Shaq's fifth foul. Careful, Cs, you don't want Shaq off the floor! The Celtics point guard misses both, and James gets the board with a step... but he then turns it over off his foot, leading to a Rondo layup. Yeesh.

James again to Vareajo, who loses it down low to Sheed, leading to the inevitable Ray Allen three in transition. Gahhhh. Every time the Cavs get close, the poise isn't there, and the Cs make them pay. Honestly, I think the Cs can lose this game, but I don't think the Cavs can win it.

Commerce, then the Lemur rubs Cavs Fans nose in the last 40 years of failure. Man, I hate the Lemur sometimes. All decent human beings should for stuff like that. A Jamison three miss leads to Sheed's hustle and a bad James miss from three, as the Cavs are looking desperate now. Garnett misses on a bad possession, but Williams misses on a pull up, and the Cavs are Dead Team Walking right now. Pierce to Sheed for the three that should end it, especially after a Williams turnover that leads to Garnett slamming it as James watches. Good night, Cleveland.

In the only baseball game that's going on right now, Colorado rookie pitcher Jhoulys Chacin, who is starting for me in both leagues, gets taken deep by Ryan Zimmerman for the second time tonight. It gives him 6 ERs in 5 IP, and ends a day in which he, CC Sabathia and Chris Carpenter combine to give me 19 innings of thermonuclear ERA waste. The third quarter time that I missed involved a fight with the kids, that led to a fight with the wife. Watching this game, and the fact that pro hoop somehow lasts three hours now, means that I'm going to miss the gym tonight. It's all how it should be.

Jamison scores on a drive. Gosh, that's not too late or nothing. Parker blocks Pierce, but the Cavs turn it over in the half court with ugliness. Cs run clock, then Rondo gets the bank, because hey, why not. Two misses sandwich a Vareajo board. Mark Jackson buries the Cavs for not being Fun Boys with elimination and the loss of their franchise being four minutes away. Have I mentioned that I hate the Lemur, and that all decent human beings should? 90-76 with four minutes left.

Vareajo gets to the line and makes two out of transition. Wallace misses a dunk but gets the foul, as Mike Brown swaps Moon for Jamison and vice versa for offense/defense; never mind that Jamison has been terrible tonight. Mike Brown, enjoy Third World coaching. Sheed makes one. James in 1 on 5 mode, and gets a Tony Allen foul. Boston Fan chants "New York Knicks" at LeBron, because they are Very, Very Clever. Two makes brings it back to 11, but there isn't enough time on stops here. Sheed misses a turn on Jamison. James to Parker for a three, not that I'm getting fooled again. 91-83 with 2:40 left. Sheed on Jamison for another miss, then James doesn't get a call on Sheed, and when you are down this much, you need every call. Rondo to the line and misses one, and the Cs are keeping them in this a little with the line misses.

James with a dunk as Celtics Fan worries needlessly. Pierce in Hero Mode, but the Cs play volleyball with offensive boards, and that will take time the Cavs don't have off the clock. Garnett over Vareajo out of the timeout, and James turns it over for the ninth time as the season ends without fouls. Pierce misses the three, Garnett is the only person to jump for the board, and yes, the road team has given up as the Lemur is shocked, shocked, by this behavior. James has the worst triple double ever, Vareajo misses a three, and that's it. I'm pretty sure that the Cavs have their bags packed. A while ago. James glad hands the arena, takes off his jersey, and throws it to the equipment man without a second thought. I'm pretty sure Cleveland Fan just stabbed himself.

Anyway, in all seriousness... congratulations to the team that I hate the most, and as a fantasy owner of James, I just hope he goes to an up-tempo team where he can do what he do best: dominate the regular season. Good night, and go Magic.