Top 12 reasons why Doug Collins took the Sixers job

Tonight, in lieu of a playoff game, the NBA news is that TNT analyst Doug Collins has taken the vacant coaching job in Philadelphia. Tomorrow, I think we get to hear who's getting the Chicago job, or the Atlanta gig, or maybe the New Jersey gig. That's better than watching games or having the conference finals end in under a month, right?

12) Hiring the coaching sloppy seconds of the Washington Wizards worked out so well last time

11) Enjoys working for a team that won't have any distracting premier free agent discussions

10) Between the probable lockout and the team's recent history with coaches, there is no way he's not getting paid time off for the last 1-2 years of that deal

9) After a year of Eddie Jordan, all that Collins will have to do to look good is to not say the words "Princeton offense", or eat paste while smoking in bed

8) Reasonably sure that Michael Jordan won't be involved for once

7) You'd be up for a new job -- any new job -- if you had to travel on business with Marv Albert

6) The four year deal ensures that he'll outlast the GM that saddled him with this turdburger of a roster

5) He's currently 45 games over .500 for his coaching career, which means he'll be good until at least February

4) After the squash playoffs that he's had to watch this year, wants to make sure he avoids this next year

3) You'd be a fool not to want the job when the Sixers have the #2 pick in the draft, considering how well that worked out with Shawn Bradley and Keith van Horn

3) Like the rest of the team that gagged up the 2-0 lead to the Bill Walton Blazers and didn't stick around until Moses Malone, owes the town one

2) After seeing Grant Hill reinvent himself as a durable defensive player, thinks he can reinvent himself as a successful coach, or maybe a cabaret singer

1) Figures that, no matter what, this can't go as badly as that '72 trip to Munich